nice dream

i've just finished season 3 of how i met your mother. the season ender, miracles, is notable for the mushy stuff: lily, marshall, robin and barney all running to the hospital; ted getting engaged; barney's loves flashing in front of his eyes.

however, there's also the little matter of the soundtrack to ted's accident.

nice dream. by radiohead. from my favouritest album ever.

---

incidentally, i'm on the bends lss mode. particularly, sulk.

life in mono

everything is not all right.

i feel rotten. i ate a piece of cake for merienda but was not satisfied. i want to go out tonight but i feel guilty leaving my aunt and dad to care for my mum. my feelings of being ignored by some people are getting more magnified by the day. i'm trying to write a post for another website but can't seem to get it together. not to mention i've been trying to write this post since forever but couldn't hit on the right note to go on with it.

thing is, my mum is suffering from depression and whenever it happens (it's been off and on for the last 20 years) we're put in a rather delicate situation. now that i'm older, and supposedly more mature, i no longer have an excuse to leave it to the adults - not just the finances, but the daily management of the house and, more importantly, my mum's mental (and emotional) well-being. but all i want to do is hide in my bedroom with my gazillion romance paperbacks and come out when it's all over.

today we had to take her to a dermatologist to have her skin problems checked, and it was somewhat a production. considering that this episode of depression came about from her increasing number of health problems, she was worried that going to another doctor meant another treatment and another type of medicine to remember (which is usually the case). i can't help but get frustrated along with her trying to wrap her head around what needed to be done, when there's so much that needed to be dealt with at the same time.

(and here i stopped being emo and just forced myself to watch some tv. it distracted me a bit, but not much from my food cravings...)

so, anyway, life is rather different for now. other times i might shake my head a little whenever my mum is in hyper mode, but times like these i kinda miss it. almost. and to be quite honest, some of the depression spills over to me. it's pretty hard not to be depressed when you're living with someone who is.

world turning 'round

shocking news greeted me the other day as i got on the elevator with several officemates. one of our colleagues passed away the night before due to a heart attack. the guy was just a few years older than me.

it was a sad day for all of us.

i didn't know my officemate that well, but with our office the way it is (geographically speaking), people we know however slightly become fixtures that decorate our lives. i had one game against his team in our bowling tournament last year, yet every time we bump into each other at the pantry, we kept ribbing each other about our game. our ties might not have been as strong as chains, but they're like wisps of cotton that comforts because they're there. and now they're not.

that even mere acquaintances are feeling a keen sense of loss is somewhat a testament to the way he has lived among us. and maybe it is through this loss that god is teaching us what may be lacking in our own personalities. but mostly, i think god is teaching us how to be basically human - reaching out to other people not for any reason other than that they are also people.

god bless you lee van.

my life is a tv sitcom (hi, i'm ted mosby)

it was only last friday that i felt well enough (at times) to plug my ipod to my ears. but sheer boredom loves company, and i had just downloaded new stuff on the pod. like s1 of how i met your mother.

aside from being a comedy, and witty at that, the striking thing about it is that ted, the lead character, is my age. like, really. granted, he's a few months older, but it's rare to find a show that has a lead character my age. i always feel they're either too old, and as life went on, too young.

plus, it's the life of a single guy, in nyc. so, i'm not a guy, and i'm not in nyc, what do i have in common with ted? i've not even been in any relationship like he has. but he has four friends in the show, which kinda reminded me of my own group of friends when i was 27. (or to be more accurate, when i was turning 26). unlike ted, there were three girls and two guys in that group. lily-and-marshall were my other best friend and her now-husband. barney would be my best friend, who, while not as comedically bad as barney, is adventurous in her own right. robin would be the newcomer guy, who went to the same uni as the rest of us but only really hung out with after lily-and-marshall became an item. and needless to say, he could have been the one, but probably not for me.

that year i became 26 was probably the most emo year i ever went through. i was coping with big change professionally, struggling to graduate from grad school, and learning about dating for the first time in my life. actually, all the angst stuff went on until the next year, and a necessary lifestyle change put the brakes on that situation. again, needless to say, things did not work out as hoped, and love was one of the many things that frustrates me up to now.

but like ted said, these are my mistakes to make, and i had to make them even if i knew they were mistakes.

and now, time to start on season 2.

the story behind the picture

ok, i promised, and i intend to deliver this time, contrary to all expectations. i never considered myself lucky. i wasn't very good at games, i nver won anything big like a car or even a fricking cellphone. but evidence has been building up until i could deny it no longer. i was lucky in my own way. i really had to admit that when i realized i won a palm m105. wtf?

but a few years after that incident i still bemoaned the fallacy that i was unlucky. i got tickets to a movie premier once while listening to magic, and when i became a dedicated follower of klite i reckon i won a lot of prizes. but i'm getting ahead of myself now.

the klite cd box set was probably the biggest prize i ever won in klite, specifically on the morning brew. i didn't even win it the first time it was raffled off, i think as another anniversary promo item. it's not as collector-worthy as the sting cds i won on my 25th birthday (damn, that was five years ago?) but the sting cds i could have gotten anywhere. not the cd box set.

obviously the set came with a box, like you'd expect. but it is so flimsy that i threw it away in a fit... i kinda miss it in a way, but i'm well rid of another piece of junk in my room. but the cds, man. the songs probably represent all that i love (and some of what i hate) in rock music, and the station. pearl jam. blurry. third eye blind. sheryl crow. incubus. man, if maroon 5 had already been making waves st the time, they'd have been on the cd. most of all, the songs represent my life in music. i just can't say it enough, klite and i are soulmates. and like all good things, the relationship had to end.

so, thank you klite, for this cd box set and the sting cds, the couple of vcds, and the numrouse movie tickets you gave me through vito and mylinda and anjanette and whoever else. thank you for letting me watch batman begins with one of my best friends, and giving me and excuse to take a guy friend on a movie date (suspense thrillers aren't something i'd pick to watch on my own). thank you for getting me and my two best friends free entrance to tapika to see paolo santos, and giving my friend ten fricking passes to gateway cinema so i could catch some movie with him and our two chaperons (another looooooong story). in fact, thank you for giving me a semblance of a love life, because now that you're gone, guess what? that life is now over. but that's ok. all good things come to an end.

take me dancing

so, it isn't my intention to chronicle every-frickin'-day of my last fifteen days as a twentysomething. it just happened that i'm feeling a bit better than i have since five days ago, and i have a little time on my hands, and i'm holding off the season 1 finale of how i met your mother. and i suddenly saw these:

a large part of my twentysomething years is spent with one ear glued to the radio and the dial pointing at 103.5. if my high school had LS, and the cool college kids (ahem) was listening to NU in the wee hours, my soundtrack for the MBA years was klite. it started one morning, my first month at school and consequently first month living alone for the first time evah! and i was dial-surfing. i couldn't quite catch magic, and i was annoyed with chico and delamar (still am, actually) and i happened on this radio station at the other end of the dial where the music is just right down my alley and the djs were just the right amount of witty. thus began my 5-year love story with klite 1035.

...five years? but the story started six years ago!?!

sadly, kids, every love story has to end sometime. and no matter what the books say, it always ends in death. november 2006, i was astounded to hear vito (my favorite dj of all time) make the announcement that the morning brew was signing off for the second time (looooong story). after eleven years, the station itself was closing down and being made over. though the loyal army of listeners probably isn't half as many as those rushers, we were a pretty decent lot, and we were... loyal. and i think i speak for everyone by saying no other station was ever like klite. like, no one else had that eclectic mix of rock and not-quite-pop spanning even as far back as the 70s (or 60s, if you count the doors). i still miss the feeling of hearing maroon 5 (before they got teenage-girls-popular) right next to hall and oates and sting. damn.

klite would have celebrated its thirteenth anniversary two (or three? i forget now) days after my birthday. i kinda regret now not taking the 10th anniversary tickets my friend offered me for my birthday three years ago (there were guilt-inducing circumstances) and if i had a chance i'd really love a similar music- and booze-filled night this year. except that i'm not very aware of any such similar circumstances at this time. anybody got any ideas? and tickets will be much appreciated ;)

oooh, btw, i actually attended a klite anniversary bash four years ago and i told the story here.

thirty days

other people would be hung up on their age. never me. but with time passing rapidly and the days till i hit the magic number decreasing at warp speed, i find that i am way too obsessed with age. although for my part, it's the regret that i'll be without an excuse to stay immature. because somehow, hitting that big 3-0 comes with a certain... something that behaving in a manner less than responsibly will seem like an insult to the wisdom that comes with age.

---

i have always deplored my tendency for inaction. (if there's any consolation, i don't have to be bitter about grad school anymore, because i finished.) but i feel like i missed out on so many things that i could have done. some are little things, that are more like way-of-life as opposed to single events. like, i'm not fully exploring career options. or, i've not gone out on gimiks with friends more often. i've not gone out more often, more like. and there's that delaying the driving lessons thing. and that whole hoopla on love and relationships. i've barely scratched the surface of twentysomething independence, and it's being taken away from me.

maybe the reason i'm thinking too much about the implications of the impending birthday is that too many things are coming to a head all at the same time. i just finished grad school, so no more reason to put everything else on hold. reorg at the office made me think more than twice on my career direction, and whether i still wanted to hang on or finally let it go. then, losing the guilt over grad school should have been my ticket to doing more of the things i wanted to try. and i'm feeling a deadline because it's a little less becoming to stay at home dreaming when i should be mature enough to take action.

the point is, i'm not ready to be thirty.

but there's nothing i can do about it.

i want to write but i'm mental-blocked

hold on, is "mental-blocked" even a proper phrase (or compound word or whatever)?

i got home early today because the office declared a semi-half-day, which pegged quitting time at 3pm. so i've been spending enough time on the internet clicking on the usual suspects, and i was running out of stuff to read. i did come across baddie's post this afternoon, which prompted me to think of my own rainy day pet peeves, which in turn reminded me that i almost had another klutz incident this morning.

...

(stopped current train of thought because it's getting really lame.)

...

then i came across jewel's blog, and i am reminded again of another dilemma of sorts.

ever since i decided to create my latest blog at wordpress.com, i've been (un)seriously contemplating migrating my main blog from blogspot. sentimentality aside, i am reluctant to move from blogspot because it is the only one that provides an email backup of my posts as they are published. and in my experience, the sidebar html widget is much more user-friendly than wordpress html widget. i was seriously pissed that this was the only site i could show off my last.fm artists and recent playlist using the flash widgets - multiply, lj and wordpress failed massively. and my plurk widget only worked here. in fact, blogger wins at widgets, period.

however, wordpress (and i'm using the free hosted one) has a lot going for it as well. it has more themes (blogger is seriously lacking in themes); there are "pages" which are similar to posts except that they aren't constricted by the date; there's a cool spam filter; there are "categories" and "tags"; and it's compatible with gravatar. the clincher, however, is the "read more" (or "summary") option (though i have to admit livejournal is one-up with the lj-cut). installing this option in blogger takes a bit of patience, some css knowhow, and a lot of hits and misses.

there are a few things that aren't found on either platform which i really really like, such as lj's multiple userpic (i haven't used up all 15, and my lj friends have lots and lots more on their paid accounts). lj also has a nifty lj user graphic, such as this one:under_crisis. it also has several fields besides the post title and tags, such as music, location and mood (and moodthemes are customizable!) and all of these can be specified if you emailed your blog post. best of all is the lj-cut, which allows the author to hide several non-continuous portions of the post.

expert bloggers have probably worked around my complaints and devised how their platforms could work for them. but i'm no expert, and i don't have the patience to get into the nitty gritty programming. so i'll just keep on wishing that someday blogger will create their version of the lj-cut, and i'll be the happy camper forever. or until the next hot platform comes along.

time for some recs

last.fm has not given me a headache in the last few weeks. recently, i noticed that some tracks kept appearing in my scrobbles list and they were last played on the ipod over a month ago. so i had to reset the play count on the ipod itself. wonder if it'll work. and the site was recently overhauled, and is sporting a clean, new look. methinks every audiophile should seriously think about going with this application. i love how ne-yo is slowly creeping up into my top 5 artists. lolz.

speaking of favourite artists, no. 6 is (surprise, surprise) smashing pumpkins. i loved this band since today, but i found that i'm not that big a fanatic because i only like about half their songs - at least the half that i'm familiar with. i recently added their greatest hits album into the pod, and with some luck managed to single out this gem. it's called try, try, try.

the top song in my ipod is ne-yo's closer, followed closely by because of you. now that is a big surprise, though the playlist cleanup may be partly to blame, because i usually don't go rnb when i could go alternative. a few spots down is this lovely depressing song by little bit, called forget about me. it asks the question: why don't you love me? which coincidentally is a question i've been asking in my mind a few short years ago toward a certain person. at the risk of being accused of sour graping, i still want to know the answer. dammit.

i think i regret not paying more attention to lifehouse's concert here, based on the few reviews i bothered to look at. but this song from who we are on constant repeat more than made up for my loss.

i finally succumbed and bought the first book in stephenie meyer's twilight series. i lent it to my dad and he promptly returned it - that's how easy it was to read. i haven't tried reading it yet; i think i want to savor it and save it for a rainy night. also, i didn't want to be interrupted while daydreaming about robert pattinson i'm in the middle of an exciting part.

oh, and i bought tracey thorn's (everything but the girl) solo album from last year. it sounds just like ebtg without ben watt. whatever.

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i'm too old to be this confused

moodswings are weird. only yesterday morning i was lighthearted, but it seems the events that transpired since then have given me much food for thought. today, i struggle with the confusion that has stuck with me over the last few weeks.

i thought finishing graduate school will help me at least get an idea where i'm going. months after everything has been settled, i find that i have no fricking idea where to go from here. i still feel underqualified for anything. more to the point, i have no inkling at all what kind of work i'm suited for.

i don't know why i won't give up my actuarial career track. my knowledge isn't even current. but just like the scraps of paper i still keep in memento boxes, i can't seem to let it go even if i know i won't make it to fellowship.

on the other hand, career change is scary. i've long wanted to work in UN, but again, i don't know what exactly i'm suited for. it's times like these that i envy my former officemate, who decided to shift to another career four years ago. i could have done it then, too - we were in the same boat - but i was too scared to make the first move.

i've always been the wait-and-see sort of person. almost everything i do has been thought out and debated on at least a hundred times. but there have been instances that i could have acted with haste and gotten better results (hindsight is always 20-20). i'm betting this is one of those times.

dirty sexy money

money's a bitch. especially when you don't have much of it.

over the past several weeks (months?), i've been putting off logging my bank transactions into my financial worksheet. the file was last updated beginning of march, before strama took over my whole world. with my shaky financial standing and my spendthrift ways, i knew i had to reconcile my allowable expense with my actual spending soon, or else chaos will ensue. the lesson i learned a few years ago was a costly one, and i only just finished paying for the consequence.

today i finally progressed a major step, which was track my "petty cash" account. taking down five months's worth of transactions seemed overwhelming, especially when i get home at night and i just wanted to surf the net. but i knew putting it off will only cause me more headaches, so i finally took the whole bunch of slips to work, sorted them by month, and worked on them after lunch. voila! i'm one step closer to reconciling my accounts.

but the really tricky part is still ahead of me, which is distributing the cash into the several sub-accounts i devised. even now i know that the allowance will turn out negative, because of all the spending i did during strama. i'm disappointed, because i really wanted to have extra money to finally invest in mutual funds. but that's life. hopefully i'll manage to plan the next four months to pay back all my debts to myself.

randomize

another meme from ladybracknell, who i think has posted several in the last few days. hehehe.

Shuffle your player and select the first 20 songs that come up. Post the first line of the lyrics and have your f-list guess the songs.

1. now tell me whatcha gonna do when there ain't nowhere to run, when judgment comes for you, when judgment comes for you
2. all i can say is that my life is pretty plain, i like watching the puddles gather rain
3. now and then, do you wash your hands of me again
4. ninety miles outside chicago, can't stop driving i don't know why
5. all is quiet on new year's day, a world in white gets underway
6. breathe it in and breathe it out and pass it on, it's almost out
7. i do not understand what it is i've done wrong
8. words like violence break the silence, come crashing in into my little world
9. may mga kumakalat na balita, na ang misis ni kuwan ay madaling makuha
10. i'm afraid to fly, and i don't know why
11. i see us in the park, strolling the summer days of imaginings in my head
12. somebody told me you were leaving, i didn't know; somebody told me you're unhappy, but it doesn't show
13. and here's to you, mrs. robinson, jesus loves you more than you will know
14. waiting, watching the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop
15. in my eyes, indisposed, in disguise as no one knows
16. take me as you are, push me off the road; the silence, i need this time to be with you
17. i was blown away, what could i say, it all seemed to make sense
18. do as i say not as i do because the shit so deep you can't run away
19. the first, the last, my everything, and the answer to all my dreams
20. every breath you take, every move you make

i only listed those songs that i actually knew. i have 5000+ songs on my pod, and i have a lot of albums i haven't even listened to in full. or at all.

yes, i know, nos. 5, 13, 19 and 20 should be dead giveaways. what can i do.

some of these were actually covers when they appeared on the shuffle; i need the original artist. track no. 4 was a cover by paolo santos; no. 9 was done by brownman revival; no. 15 was a live concert performance by alanis morissette; no. 20 was a performance by brooke white on american idol.

yeah, i think i've read more than six

this is a meme I've seen do the rounds at lj a few weeks ago, but never found the time to do myself. then a high school friend posted it, so i thought i might as well.

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1. Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2. Italicize those you intend to read.
3. Underline the books you LOVE.
4. Reprint this list in your own multiply/lj so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;)

The 100 list:

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen - my favorite of all of Austen's, hands down.
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien – tried reading it when I was a kid but gave up after one page.
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling – I love love love this world. And the fandom.
   
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
   
6. The Bible – I don’t think I’ve read half of the whole book
   
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
   
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
   
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
   
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
    
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott – this is one of the first three books that my granny sent me while she was in TO, and led me to appreciate children’s classics. Jo&Laurie = OTP
    
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
    
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
    
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare – is it possible to find them in prose? I love the themes of the stories; unfortunately, I’m just distracted by iambic pentameter. Which is why I love watching movies based on Shakespeare – I understand them better.
    
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
    
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
    
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
    
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
    
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
    
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
    
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
    
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
    
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
    
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
    
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
    
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
    
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
    
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
    
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
    
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
    
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
    
34. Emma - Jane Austen – not as good as P&P, but I loved the idea of her falling in love with a man she knew very well, almost all her life.
    
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
    
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
    
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
    
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
    
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
    
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne – I’ve read The Te of Piglet (which is a sequel to the Tao of Pooh), but not the original.
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
    
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown – issues about Christians aside, the story is brilliant.
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
    
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
    
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
    
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery – I am such a romantic. But I read the Emily books before this, and I found Anne a more engaging heroine.
    
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
    
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
    
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding – Good story, but really scary.
    
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
    
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
    
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
    
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
    
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen – I liked the movie too (yay Alan Rickman!)
    
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
    
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
    
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
    
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
    
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
    
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
    
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
    
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
    
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
    
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
    
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
    
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
    
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
    
68. Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding – the first movie was a v. good adaptation. The second one, not so much.
    
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
    
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
    
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
    
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett – another one from that first set of books. Unfortunately I lost that copy, so I bought another one.
    
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
    
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
    
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
    
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
    
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
    
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
    
80. Possession - AS Byatt – I read this in parts after seeing the movie. Have yet to read it in full. Maybe soon.
    
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
    
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
    
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
    
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
    
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
    
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
    
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
    
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom – yeah ‘tis good. Bought it for my parents’ wedding anniversary gift. Hehehe.
    
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – I have the complete works borrowed from my highschool friend, but I have yet to start.
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
    
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
    
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery – I think I loved the snake most of all. And the boa constrictor.
    
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
    
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
    
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
    
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
    
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
    
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare – Lorybeth says this was required for high school, I seem to remember only Merchant of Venice.
    
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
    
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

finally

yesterday was my graduation day. after six years of bluffing my way through, with three of those years devoted to the struggle that is my strategic management paper, i finally got my degree. and if i wanted to, i have the right to add those three letters to the end of my name.

i didn't have major problems during the graduation ceremony itself, except for my academic gown almost choking me and my cap weighing about as heavy as an anvil. no missteps or major boo-boos. but it was the other stuff surrounding my graduation that gave me major headaches. after i finally submitted my paper, which was late, there was the clearance (an issue i'd rather not discuss). then not knowing if i made the cut, because according to the rules, i should have submitted my paper earlier (though i had the defense before the deadline). then finding the right dress, where normal dress-shopping is already a traumatic experience. then, after the ceremony, it was as if our trusty '94 civic was on strike. just as we were ready to leave, dad discovered the battery was discharged, so we had to have a replacement delivered. then, on our way home, we landed on a massive pothole on the slex and got a running flat. imagine all of that accompanied by heavy rainfall.

i hope to write about all the different details soon. the subject matter from the speeches during the ceremony were inspiring, though not enough to spur me to write extensively. i'll try to get back on my feet in a couple of days.

2008 MTV ASIA AWARDS - vote for URBANDUB!

plurk! plurk!

wahahahaha! i succumbed!

in view of copycatting from baddie, and getting bored with twitter, i set up a plurk account. like i need another username-password combo.

is anyone else on my friendlist, aside from baddie, who's on plurk? please let me know. better yet, friend me? (desperado?)

shabby chic food challenge # 1: vanilla affogato

for lack of a better name, i'm calling this the shabby chic challenge. (but i hate it, so i'll probably change it later on. be warned.)

objective: to discover cheaper alternatives to (my) favorite food items, which are usually expensive (i have a spendthrift attitude when it comes to food, and it was the leading cause of my previous ballooning credit card debt problem - but that's another story).

to quote an officemate (who quotes a popular tv ad) - 'sing sarap, pero 'di 'sing mahal.

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affogato: a coffee-based beverage or dessert. "affogato style", which refers to the act of topping a drink or dessert with espresso, may also incorporate caramel sauce or chocolate sauce. - wikipedia

i first encountered this drink at starbucks around 3-4 years ago. the way starbucks made it, it was actually a blended ice drink (either vanilla or chocolate cream) and the espresso shot is added last, creating a beautiful drip pattern down the side of the plastic cup. it's no longer in their regular menu, i think, but the baristas can make it if you place an order. at today's prices, the tall cup probably costs around 130 pesos.

now, even a spendthrift like me will balk at shelling out 130 bucks every visit - i do work for a living, and i don't have a trust fund to fall back on. if i had to spend that much, might as well get a mocha frap.

cheaper alternative # 1: granita (aka ice coffee at 7-11 or mini stop) - i could be wrong, but a 16 oz glass from the convenience store could set you back 30-40 bucks. whatta deal. the coffee experience granita used to cost 50 pesos, about 8 years ago. no idea how much it is now.

cheaper alternative # 2: ice cream and brewed coffee - this is if you want to stick closer to the definition of affogato. i tried it this morning, and it was a pleasant change from the typical brewed coffee we get at mcdonald's or jollibee. an a la carte order of sundae cone + brewed coffee will set you back 45 pesos. if you're having a breakfast meal at the aforementioned fastfood chains, just add 15 bucks for the ice cream.

cheaper alternative # 3: the ultimate cheapskate - get the ice cream cone from mini stop, which was 14 bucks a year ago, and a nescafe 3-in-1 (or san mig 2-in-1) for 6 pesos. better yet, just steal the 3-in-1 from your officemate. prepare the coffee, then dump the cone into it.

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disclaimer: i am not affiliated with any of the brands or restaurants mentioned here. but i wouldn't mind if i got compensated for advertising :D

made of what?

i just finished watching made of honour on my ipod. i was supposed to see it on the big screen with a friend from work, but fate intervened and the girlbonding got busted.

okay, i wasn't expecting too much from the movie. but for some reason i got really kilig afterward. (so maybe someone should provide bad reviews to me for films that i wanted to enjoy. heheheh.) anyway, i just can't help but be sad about my own (lack of) love life. yes, i know it's not the end-all and be-all of my existence. it doesn't define me. i'm quite happy being my own mistress. i'm not mature enough to handle a relationship. the right guy will come along at the right time.

what a load of b.s.

i'm definitely not wishing for a serial one-night stand player like patrick dempsey's character. i don't even wish for someone as good-looking as him (but it wouldn't hurt). actually, i don't know what i really want. but at this age, i feel like i'm losing out on the whole experience. i don't even go out much with other people, just the people who i know well (and there are no prospects there). i mean, how can i follow bo sanchez's advice of going out on friendly dates, when i don't have dates to begin with? *sigh*

yes, i know i sound so bitter; worse, i don't seem to be doing anything about it. so what do i do?

where there's smoke, there's fire

still on a high from last night's school of rock gig. (coincidentally, i loved that movie.)

then i read my pinoy blogosphere mail and got the biggest surprise.

now, i don't have anything new to contribute to what has already been written, so better just read it yourself.

all i can say is, it seems raimund's segue last night may have more meaning than i initially thought it did.

it would be a really brilliant 30th birthday gift. kahit next year na yung u2.

our song plays on

ah, the joy of being without guilt.

for some reason, i decided last night to visit the urbandub yahoo group page. i almost flailed when i found out they were playing at elbi tonight. it's common for the big deal gigs to happen on thursday nights here in elbi, so it's no surprise. still, i was undecided if i was going to make the effort. but i posted my dilemma as my ym status, and a friend of mine from high school buzzed me that she and another friend of ours are watching. yay!

got home at precisely 8pm, and broke all records in wardrobe change because i was meeting my two girlfriends at bean hub (near the up gate). they seemed not to be in any hurry, as the gig was apparently just starting and dub wasn't on yet, so i grabbed a sandwich and a cup of coffee for supper. afterwards we started on our short walk to the venue.

the gig was in between bands when we got to the social garden, and it was just our luck because urbandub came on immediately after. wheee! they played songs from the latest album, under southern lights, and a couple from the previous one, embrace. kevin, another high school classmate whom we saw there, was impressed with the technical quality of urbandub's sound (i was like a proud mother hen when i affirmed his observation). and linlin was excited to find she actually knew one of their songs, evidence, which was on heavy rotation at mtv.

i wasn't really planning to hang around for sandwich, but luckily i did, because i didn't know they were that good live. i was really impressed. i actually had newfound respect for myrene academia, their bassist. and their new guitarist is cute (i forgot his name, i read it somewhere a while ago).

not bad for a thursday night gimik, was it? it's just a pity best buddy mike wasn't able to come, but there'll be other chances.

special mentions:

• urbandub riffing a new tattoo (god i miss that song)
• raimund singing masilungan, then changing the lyrics to the first verses of alapaap. panalo! long live the eraserheads!

do i look like a piggy bank?

because just the other day i've been approached by not one, but two people who for some reason don't have enough money to get home.

http://www.bloggingpinoy.com/?p=138

btw i'm now a member of blogging pinoy, so please check it out.

2008 mtv asia awards - let's vote!

i've successfully ignored my yahoo inbox for several days now, and it just occurred to me that i might want to check it out. good thing too, because i got a message that prompted me to look up the mtv asia website.

the mtv asia awards is on again, and we have four excellent bands vying for favourite artist: chicosci, sandwich, sponge cola, and urbandub. personally, i'm supporting urbandub, which is one of the most underrated bands in the country. but if you don't quite dig them, vote for the other three acts and let us show our appreciation for their contribution to the local music scene.

you will find voting links to all four artists here, and even widgets and email links to get your friends to vote as well. the winner will get to perform in malaysia, and while i'm really pulling for urbandub to have that honor, all four bands deserve to show the world what we've got.

(at the risk of excessive fangirling, i have to declare that lalay lim is one of the best female bassists ever. she can give myrene academia a run for her money, not to mention a lot of the male bassists out there. that's how good she is.)

housekeeping

just one day short of my first month on last.fm, i'm doing some cleaning up. in fact, i'm writing this post while taking a break from deleting scrobbles. there can only be so many plays of foo fighters' the pretender that i can honestly admit to. i don't think i can own up to having 700+ plays of the foos on my ipod since i bought the ipod, let alone since i joined last.fm. but i'm getting tired of the intense mouse-work deleting entails. we shall see.

i wonder, since i've finally re-synced my ipod with the itunes, if the multiple scrobbles will stop. again, we shall see.

i've also been organizing my 80gb disk over the last few days. though i've actually been adding files more than deleting them. which probably means i'll be using the wd my passport pretty soon.

email inbox has been a bit busy, with a few missives from my classmate on graduation-related activities: getting the cap and gown, paying for the grad fee and the alumni fee and the yearbook, getting photos taken. i thought my multiple strama enrollments made the biggest dent in my (parents') pockets; defense and graduation seem to be coming in at close second. hay, just to get a degree...

speaking of classmates, spent wednesday evening with girlfriends from strama (and also the prof) at redbox. all part of my vow to enjoy my life after strama. except that there's still that teensy problem of going home late and catching the last trip. and me wishing i still have a place in manila. wonder what i'll do if i had to go on "dates". if that ever happens.

finally, i'm still struggling with the "read more" modification here at blogger. not that i've already tried it, but i'm thinking of the 200 posts that i'll have to modify as well to set the viewing right. oh whatever. basically the internet's too slow here and at the office for me to really work on it. i think i'd do better just sorting through my mba things this weekend. time to throw out some trash. and me a hoarder. what fun.

current playlist:

mariah carey, touch my body. i love the video, which features the geeky guy from 30 rock, one of my favorite comedies. i'm not going to admit to anyone that i have a girl crush on sexy mariah. nope, no way.

sting, ...all this time (the live album). i accidentally hit play on one of the songs and it all came back to me. this is one of my favorite albums ever. i have to look for the post (way, way back) that says why.

ne-yo, because of you. unlike my classmate rain, i can probably stand a guy who doesn't know ne-yo. as long as he loves either sting, u2 or radiohead. preferably all.

who the...

picked up another meme from sciathan_file

You know how sometimes people on your friend's list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you *should* already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration! One-word answers seldom help anyone out.

1. First Name:
kristin. everyone pronounces it "kristine" so i'm tickled pink whenever i hear the american/british pronunciation. my "trying to be fly" name is xtin.

2. Age:
29. must not spoil it by saying i'm almost thirty.

3. Location:
living in los baños, working in the city of manila, but my heart is in makati :D

4. Occupation:
actuarial student who just finished her mba coursework and is at a loss.

5. Partner:
no boyfriend since birth.

6. Kids:
maybe. but i don't have the maturity to deal with them yet.

7. Brothers/Sisters:
none. unless you count my dolls.

8. Pets:
none. i never learned to have them.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
- just finished my strama paper, three years in the making. it was my one waterloo during my whole mba experience. and i'm graduating in august. wheee!
- something's brewing on the work front and i don't know the outcome.
- planning a trip to somewhere. and i hope everything falls into place for it because it's not easy to cancel.
- trying to jumpstart my social life, so i'm more open to hangouts. please. please take me out.
- i'm turning thirty. need i say more.

10. Where and for what did you go to school for?
- ateneo de manila, ateneo graduate school of business for my mba. university of the philippines los baños, applied math major in actuarial science. all just words. blah blah blah.

11. Parents?
- still living and still together. i'm much closer to my mum though.

12. Who are some of your closest friends?
- my very closest friends come from my high school barkada. my best friend is now in hawaii and married and most of my other close friends from that group are also married. my best bud is a college friend but he's also getting married soon. so that probably means i'll be the spinster godmother for some of their kids for a long long while yet.

to the theatre we go (but only for now)

best buddy mike has been bugging me about watching the farewell run of avenue q since more than a month ago. because i suddenly have all this free time, i agreed. but we didn't finalize the schedule until last thursday, and i had to get the tickets too (hmf). so despite the threat of heavy rains last saturday, i got on the very convenient bus going to cubao and got off at the ayala mrt station two hours later, eagerly anticipating the afternoon ahead.

i'm very tempted to expound on my inconsistent appreciation of the theatre, but i won't. suffice to say, i enjoy witty comedies, and this play really delivered it for me. i think i loved that i was a part of this audience. we all laughed at the right spots, and clapped after almost every song. the intimate setting of the carlos p. romulo auditorium certainly helped. not to mention the actors were very good, especially the puppeteers. i regret not seeing rachel alejandro portray her award-winning part (yes, she won a best actress award for this last year!) but i think carla guevarra-laforteza was very good at it. many people agree with me too. the thing that struck me most is the hip swing she does when she's playing lucy t. slut. it was the precarious mix of subtle and obvious that puts the extra ooomph into the character, and it's how you know you're dealing with a seasoned theatre actor (miss saigon, duh). and lei's favorite actor joel trinidad is just surprisingly endearing as nicky and trekkie monster - his voice is so versatile. aiza seguerra deserves to go to the singapore run to reprise the gary coleman role too. if for some bizarre twist of fate i'll end up in singapore in october, i'm definitely watching the show there.

one minor gripe, though, is frenchie dy's oriental accent. she's wavering between the chinese "l" and the japanese "r" and i think her character was supposed to be japanese. though as i haven't seen the script i'm not sure if it was not written that way. but she's cute, and christmas eve is adorable.

it wasn't for immature audiences though. besides the f and s words peppered throughout the script and the in-your-face references to subjects not for children's consumption, such as cough*porn*cough, one has to be very widely-read or updated on various subjects to fully appreciate the pop culture references. but i hope people won't think i'm too weird for being amused at the idea of two puppets doing the dirty. lol.

and because it's categorized as a musical, it has several songs in its aresenal that were very singable and easy to recall. my favorite would have to be it sucks to be me/but only for now (same song, different lyrics) followed closely by schadenfreude (snaps to aiza for the spelling lesson). mike, i'm still waiting for the soundtrack...

it's too late for anybody else to watch it on my recommendation, since the farewell run just ended, but do catch it if you're in singapore in october. and maybe i'll catch it if atlantis decides to put it up again later. but i'll need to get cheaper seats this time.

other reviews: by anton diaz

for further reading:
avenue q official site
avenue q on wikipedia

i broke my diet again

i've been trying to go on a diet since friday. i failed. i just don't know how to avoid carbs, they're my happy food! especially a nice, steaming plate of pasta. ohhhhhbrother.

whenever my best bud mike and i meet for lunch or dinner we usually end up going for italian. this time we tried cibo. and i loved it. i can't remember the names of the dishes we ordered, but show me the menu and i can point them out. we started with a mozzarella & asparagus something with toasted flatbread. the spread was being a little difficult and wasn't as salty as i really wanted, but still a hit. the bread was nicely done. then we had a something salad with arugula, yellow bell peppers, and pine nuts with some sort of vinaigrette dressing (which i initially thought wasn't there). ohhhhman, it was good. just the right amount and tartness. then i asked the waiter for a pasta dish with a mix of red and cream sauce, and was given this shrimp thing on penne. i could die right then and there, i couldn't get enough! but those three dishes proved to be enough for us after all, and we walked away happily full. not the buffet-gorging sort where you wonder why you ate that much. we were very very satisfied.

oh, and we were listening to urbandub live while eating. can't beat that!

the earphone dilemma

listening to music is one of the critical things that keep me sane and centered. i dream of the day i can append a music player to my ear (though the possibility of hearing degeneration is a scary thought). nope, an ipod shuffle doesn't cut it, nor does a bluetooth headset. so i'm weird. no arguments there.

so in an office setting (or even at a common area at home, though this is less critical), i yearn for a room all to myself so i can play my music any volume i want, even sing along to it, without bugging anyone else. but we can't always have what we want (besides, it's a bit impractical, duh). so we compromise, with a pair of speakers or a set of earphones. even then, we're not satisfied. speakers can get too loud and disturb the others, while earphones can cut you off from the real world. and when you're at work, it's not really advisable to be isolated, is it? worst case scenario has your boss calling you over and over while you remain blissfully ignorant. on second thought, having a disaster happening around you while you're spaced out in your own little world is much much worse.

one of my friends passed on something his boss said to explain the "no-earphones" policy in his office, which can be paraphrased as: if you needed music to focus on your work, you''re not really focusing at all. the man has a point, actually, but we audiophiles will dispute that till the day we die. but then, even i ignored the mp3 player a whole 30 minutes since it stopped, just because i was busy studying a blog tutorial. oh well. nuff said.

current playlist:
keane, under pressure
fall out boy, grand theft autumn/where is your boy
u2, i still haven't found what i'm looking for
the cardigans, erase/rewind

ignorance is bliss, but what you don't know may hurt you

x-posted on blurry landscapes

my dear aunt always warned me about showing off my gadgets while on public transport. there's the danger of getting my phone or my mp3 player stolen from right under my nose, or, like what happened to me once, dropping the device and sitting on tenterhooks waiting for the people to get off so i can search on the floor (thankfully that one ended well). and if she had known just how much i depend on my mp3 player while on the bus, she'd have warned me even more about paying attention to my surroundings. well, this time, she didn't need to. i found out on my own.

the problem with traffic in the philippines is that if the driver doesn't act like he's king of the road, he'd end up as the whipping boy. from buses to jeepneys to the tricycles (the frailest motorized public transport in the world), each has to assert its own supremacy on the road to the detriment of the unfortunate slow car that blocked its way. regular commuters on the provincial line can only shake their heads and hold on to their seats whenever the driver weaves in and out of the obstacle course that is the slex at full speed. so last night, while i was mentally bobbing my head to foo fighters' five songs and a cover, i barely paid attention when the bus made that unmistakable lurch that meant it was overtaking and had to abort. after that i got a brainwave, and decided to no longer endure the cold blast from the aircon vent so i put on my blazer. then the bus stopped at the intersection, i looked up, and i knew that something was wrong.

i used to hate sitting at the back rows of the bus because i had terrible motion sickness as a kid. but now that i've been commuting for nine years, i found that the only thing that beats sitting at the rear is sitting at front with no seatmates. and i just happened to barely catch the bus before leaving the terminal, so i was sharing the last three-seater with another woman and her little girl. and having my earphones glued to my ears closed me off from the world, so i was like "whuh?" when i noticed the commotion at the front of the bus. and however much i listened, i really couldn't get what was happening. after about five minutes the bus moved again, but all the people in front of me alternated between standing and peeking at the road ahead, and talking excitedly amongst themselves. i was still helplessly clueless.

the bus let off a few more passengers, and finally stopped in front of the gate of the military camp in my town. i knew something was up. i finally asked the guy in front of me what was happening. apparently, the bus tried to overtake an armored car and got into a bind, but the armored car wouldn't budge. luckily, the oncoming vehicle from the opposite direction gave way and the bus surged ahead, but the armored car still pulled ahead of us. at the intersection, which is an unofficial bus stop, the armored car blocked our bus and some guy with a rifle came out. and everyone who was supposed to get off obviously scrambled back in fear. i heard from a different witness the even the driver sprang out of his seat after locking his window and the door. it was unclear how the standoff ended, but eventually the armored car pulled away, and the people at front memorized the plate number to tell the police. presently the bus moved again, and my suspicions were proven correct when we turned into the town proper (which the bus never does on the regular trip) and headed to the municipality police station, where the passengers at the front as well as the bus driver and conductor gave their statements. the men in the armored car were detained.

all's well that ends well. ya think? my aunt made a comment about obnoxious armored car drivers who think they're king. i refrained from making my own case about bus drivers who should be driving for ferrari. but the sorry state of the world is that road rage is no longer uncommon. only a few weeks ago a bus driver was shot dead from a road skirmish at edsa. this is not the biggest reason why i'm still ambivalent about driving. i have to wonder, though, why i'm still indifferent about it. i'm worried that i've become so apathetic that i can only summon a token amount of fear when i found out what happened. it makes me wonder if this level of egocentricity (is that even a word?) is still healthy.

what? another one?

i have a new blog. yet again. yes, it's my sixth blog and my sixth platform.

check it out and drop a line: http://lasttrip.wordpress.com

btw, i really like the stock themes at wordpress. at least it's heaps more than the ones at blogger.

word of the day: tethering

thanks to the boy genius (www.boygeniusreports.com) for the word of thd day!

so that's what it's called. i've been using my mobile phone, a nokia 6170, for my mobile internet needs, even if i'm at home. our phoneline has a dinosaur 56K dial-up connection, and it can get messy if my dad has to use it or my mum has to make a call. we've been considering upgrading to a dsl plan, but for some reason we haven't made the big switch. which is why i rely on my company-provided smart line, and now on my personal globe line (which just recently offered the 5pesos/15mins browsing thank merlin) for connecting to the internets. now i'm making good use of my previously impractical high plan limit to waste countless hours composing (and not finishing) blog posts, or getting updated on my favorite harry potter fan fiction.

anyway, tethering is the term they use to describe that process of using the mobile phone (connected to the computer through cable or bluetooth) to make use of the phone's data connectivity. whew.

postscript: welcome to the solar system (snerk)

the big news of the day is the assignment of a new name for pluto, the little planet that wasn't.

it is now called a plutoid.

whoa what a big surprise. i so did not see that coming. where'd they get that name?

i wonder how baddie's post tipped the vote in favor of the "promotion". me sez if pluto had enough bollocks he'd have spat on their faces. hahahahahahaha.

in other news, some photos from the set of the new harry potter movie have been circulating the internet for several months already. but this latest one has all the fangirls squeeing in delight: a hug between harry and ginny. wooohoo. though we know what'll happen with those two in the future, it's still a great kilig moment. sigh. they looked soooo cute.

isang himig

maligayang araw ng kasarinlan!

naging maugong ang usap-usapan dahil sa patakaran ng kasalukuyang pangulo na ilipat ang araw ng bakasyon na dapat sana ay ngayon. hindi na ako sasali dyan. basta ang mahalaga ay maintindihan ng bawat pilipino kung ano ang nangyari noong ika-12 ng hunyo 1898 at bakit ito mahalaga sa ating kasaysayan. pwede naman nating gawin yon, ke me pasok ba o wala.

nakita ko ang YM status ng isa kong kaklase, at napaisip ako kung ano bang magandang OPM na kanta (kasi kadalasan ay titik ng kanta ang ginagawa kong status). naalala ko tuloy noong nag farewell concert kami sa glee club noong high school, kasi ang huling bahagi ay puro tagalog na kanta. at ito ang isa sa pinakapaborito namin na piyesa.

isang dugo, isang lahi, isang musika

nalito pa ako, kasi alam ko na hindi "isang dugo, isang lahi at musika" ang pamagat nito (kahit yon ang nasa loob ng kanta). ayon sa philmusicregistry.net, ito ay nilikha ni dodjie simon (medyo mabenta ang mamang ito) at kinanta ni richard reynoso sa album niya noong 1991. ayon naman kay eric (http://greyone.blogspot.com/2007/02/idilim.html) eh nanalo ito ng ikalawang pwesto sa isang patimpalak. basta ang alam ko, 1994 noong una ko itong napag-aralan, at ito ay ang version ng philippine madrigal singers. yata.

isang tinig ang aking narinig
minsa'y nanaginip ating mundo'y umaawit
isang himig, pag-ibig ang hatid
ang musika'y batid sa bawat puso at isip

ikaw at ako, tayo ay Pilipino
isang bansa, ba't di magkaisa?
isang dugo, isang lahi at musika
ang pangarap ko'y bansang mapayapa

isang tinig ang aking narinig
pag-ibig ang hatid sa bawat puso at isip
isang awit ang aking dalangin
kristiyano at muslim
magkaisa sa awitin

ang galing no? at sa totoo lang, parang hindi lumipas ang panahon. ganito pa rin tayo hanggang ngayon. halos dalawang dekada na, pero ang gulo pa rin ng bansa natin. sana naman ay matuto na tayo sa mga aral na dulot ng kasaysayan. bow.

salamat kay mahalamanda.multiply.com dahil sa kanya ako nakakuha ng kopya ng kanta.

aaaargh

still doing the revisions, which should be submitted by saturday... ohhhh brother. here i go again.

still obsessing on my (incomplete) ai7 playlist.

still unable to scrobble my ipod on last.fm. why why why why???????? the problem started when i upgraded my software, then the scrobbling became patchy until it stopped altogether, then i upgraded my itunes, then i downgraded my last.fm software. nothing. i'm holding off
upgrading my ipod software though, i tried it today but my connection gave up. whuh. so, that's the biggest annoyance right now, bigger than the revisions. lol.

just posted my summer movie wishlist on my blogspot. so it's no longer summer here in the islands, so what? this is the start of MY summer. i wish there's a portable widget for lists though. so that i can just put them in my lj if i so choose. heh. like i've already managed to configure the sidebar already.

i am sleepy. even if it was already monday (actually, it's tuesday already) i still did my sleepless sunday bit. hurray for long weekends! the next one is probably late august, oh dear.

so good night, i have to brace myself for the new day :D (and the new workweek, traffic is gonna be hell urgh).

techie questions

my latest object of obsession in the internets is the last.fm application. it's cool tracking everything i've ever played on my ipod and at the itunes at work. i just wish the tagging for past tracks is easier, my connection especially at work is spotty at best. and it's tiring to have to tag every single track one by one. i hope they put in a mass tagging feature soon. (if you're on last.fm, check out my profile from the link at the right. -->)

i also just bought a new hard disk casing for the 80 gb hard drive i got last year - the one that was in danger of expiring before its time. it turned out the problem was in the casing and not really the hard disk, though i guess its days are numbered with the several drops (oops!) i've subjected it to. and that's why i bought a new 160 gb my passport. with all the movies i'll be ripping for the ipod, i'll probably need the extra storage soon.

which brings me to my next problem, which is a FREE dvd ripper that can rip by chapter. it's for the sting concert videos that i want to rip by song. so, help?

and i just also got into del.icio.us, which is a wonderful tagging device since my firefox bookmark list is loooooooooong. but who knows when i'll eventually transfer them to del.icio.us. bahhhhhh.

it don't matter, it's over

i just surpassed the biggest challenge of my life, and i can't find words good enough to describe it.

after years of ranting, worrying, and even crying over my strategic management paper, i finally faced the defense panel yesterday. anyone who's seen me in the last few days know just how worried i was over it. to be more precise, it was a very irrational fear bordering on phobia. not without reason. though. stories about failing defense because of unsatisfactory explanations are part and parcel of every strama student's nightmare. especially mine, because i've always been non-confrontational, i've never felt able to defend my own opinions in real life and the idea that my own graduation depends on this skill is just incomprehensible. and downright scary.

this whole experience probably reinforced my sometimes shaky faith in god. especially with that irrational fear threatening to take over, it was my faith that kept me strong. and passing all those fears and worries to his mercy helped me a lot during the actual presentation. i managed to present an calm facade to my professor, and even chatted with him and my panel (who happened to be previous teachers of mine) while waiting to begin. even when i got stumped occasionally and had to defend several ratings i made (this was the one thing i was specifically afraid of), i found myself going through it without breaking down in hysterical sobs. anyway, obviously i passed. (there, i said it.) and even with the revisions i have to make, i have the license to get on with the rest of my life. finally.

so, many things i want to do. i've already done one, which was get my hair cut much shorter. (it's like a pledge or something with myself. no drastic changes until i'm done with the biggie.) i've also a few meet-ups on the drawing board with friends, movies and theatre to see (mike's been bugging me forever to see the farewell staging of avenue q), and driving lessons to finally get around to. and i swear to finally have a social life, and i mean the dating kind. no more excuses ;)

i don't know yet if i'm qualified for graduation this august (rules and stuff). to be quite honest, i don't care as much as i did before - after everything i had to contend with, i'm just thankful i'm actually at this point and i just wish there'll be no more problems standing in my way. but i still hope i get the chance to march this year, that would be really great.

my david cook playlist

these are actually songs in my playlist that i think david cook will totally nail. and who knows, maybe he's sung some of them already. it's not far out actually (he sang collective soul, man!)

1. stone temple pilots, interstate love song
2. bush, comedown
3. don henley/the ataris, the boys of summer
4. the calling, stigmatized
5. live, selling the drama (or all over you)
6. jeff buckley, last goodbye
7. greenwheel, breathe
8. dishwalla, somewhere in the middle (or any of the others: angels or devils, home, counting blue cars.)
9. lifehouse, spin
10. foo fighters, everlong (acoustic version)
11. goo goo dolls, black balloon
12. switchfoot, on fire (or only hope. i can't believe he likes mandy moore! lol!)
13. u2, new year's day (or one, stay... the list is endless. he can do bono!)
14. the police, tea in the sahara (or anything really)
15. the who, won't get fooled again

i wonder what he'll pick?

a short - and very much delayed - american idol post-mortem

so, david cook won. for the first time, someone i was betting on with all my heart finally won one of these reality singing competitions. even if simon cowell totally owned the title "master manipulator" with the reverse psychology pimping omg.

i actually had mixed feelings about him winning instead of archie. there is still some sort of stigma attached to the show, and there is the danger of too much pimping and unfulfilled expectations. taylor hicks ring any bells? i also felt a little bad for archie, because he needed the win more than cookie did. but it's done, and i can only hope for the best for those two and the other finalists.

so, my favorite performances on ai season 7:

1. top 8, seasons of love - it seriously gave me goosebumps the first time i saw the video. even if kristy had a louder mic and brooke didn't have a solo part.
2. michael johns, across the universe - i didn't know this song except as a title for that movie. i looooove this performance.
3. brooke white, let it be - i'm sure she was genuinely thrilled to perform this song on top 12.
4. jason castro, hallelujah - if only because he bumped jeff buckley to #2 on itunes! but jason's a unique singer as well.
5. brooke white, love is a battlefield - another song i was introduced to this season.
6. david cook, happy together - lss factor! this first performance of david is a precursor of great things to come.
7. david cook, billie jean - anybody with the guts to bring chris cornell into ai has my utmost admiration.
8. david cook, music of the night - no, david cook is not a fluke. nor is he a boring rocker. he has serious vocal chops man.
9. david cook, first time ever i saw your face - hay naku kaka inlove ka talaga.
10. david cook, the world i know - this is why i decided that david cook is the best representation of the kind of music i go for. aside from chris daughtry, who else in the whole idol history could be counted on to bring in chris cornell, switchfoot and collective soul? obviously, wala. and this song is actually one of the best songs of the 90s alternative rock - i rank it up there with last goodbye in the senti factor. at buti na lang cookie left this song for the last, it made listening to this song all the more poignant because of the wait. omg david i so love you for that. thank you.

btw, idol gives back is such a disappointing show performance-wise, but the finale made up for it. especially archie's duet with onerepublic (this is the sort of song david archuleta would do really well in) and the "audition tape" for gladys knight and the pips. jack black you are so hilarious!

and i feel fine

so that took three years. i had a friend who was dragging her master's thesis and we all kept pestering her to finish it. eventually she did. i really know how she feels.

i have just submitted my mba paper last night. i don't think it's really sunk in yet that i am finally free. some of the 50-random-things-to-do-after-strama were popping up in my head last night, but i can't really grasp them. i do know that one i'll be doing pretty soon is visit my friend who just gave birth, and probably another is get a whole lot of sleep. because i now have the mother of all headaches, and not involving alcohol in it only made it marginally better. i also have a crick in my neck that is just pain.

though i've been already warned of an impending outing with classmates. out of town, with planes and accomodations involved. one of the things i missed out on while i was doing my penance from hell. and now i'm doing it. yay.

so, actually i'm not completely free of grad school yet, defense is still in the horizon. and it's the one thing that really scared me shitless in my last semesters attending class (which was already three years ago). and it's probably the underlying reason why i never got to this point much much earlier. i'll probably get the nerves again when i finalize my schedule, but right now, i just can't care less.

wangsting temporarily banned from my life. the world is just an intriguing shade of pink for me right now. and for now i can say with utter conviction: THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY.

all right now

snatching some time for some dc:

my idol manok, david cook, will be singing collective soul's the world i know next week (it was his song choice).

i've loved that song ever since it came out back when i was in high school/freshman college? it's seriously one of my favorites. omg i really really really love you dc i can't say it enough.

so with that, i am now trying to convince myself he's going to sing it badly so that i'll not expect too much from the performance (and consequently enjoy it as it is). at least my peculiar musical tastes are represented this year. god i miss rockstar.

and logan, you're gonna love this: jeff archuleta banned from david's practice. stage dad fallout much? kawawa naman si archie. and no, i don't think TPTB will kick him out. the money potential of a david vs david finale is incomprehensible.

for the deets:
www.rickey.org
www.myfoxkc.com

songs of the week: david cook, all right now; michael johns, across the universe (grabe caloy naging lss namin to ni anne kasalanan mo to)

i'm a believer

whenever i know i needed to write something, i end up writing a whole lot of nonsense on my blog instead. and now that i have twitter, i update as well. funnnnnnnn.

---

i blog because i want to be heard. because i don't feel i'm heard enough in real life. like everything just goes on whether i'm there or just sitting in the sidelines. which i am most of the time.

and i put my feelings out there, somebody hears, but i don't feel like anyone's listening. do i expect too much from people? from some people, who don't even care?

or am i deaf to the people who really care, the ones who listen but dare not speak, for some reason?

comments of the day:
from the blog of rhojmp3downloads.multiply.com

commenter a: ...anyway, that priscilla betetr learn how to LISTEN. listen to other people's side before doing something else.

commenter b: paano naman niya magagawa yan...bingi nga

[/crack]

on tv this week, and it's only wednesday

today on american idol, i was a little bit disappointed in david cook's performance. thats the problem whenever i look at rickey.org and see great reviews, i almost always end up a little deflated seeing the actual performance. also, minor gripe: baba o'riley was TOO SHORT. how many seconds did that clock in, hello? hungry like a wolf could have been better, but at least that was a little more upbeat. but i still love him. go cookies!

and, PUSHING DAISIES finally here! saw the first episode this morning, at 4 am (i missed the primetime). i seriously dig them both. anna friel is adorable! she would've made a good tonks, i think, and we'd have all dissolved in the utter romance of it all.

wtf? (i fail at life)

seven days.

blah blah blah and all that shite.

this is it, this is the moment, this is the wtfery.

i will not, i mean NOT call lei/mike/whoever and crycrycry again.

...

so please please please let me let me let me
let me get what i want this time
- the smiths

whine, whine, whine

it's hot out. it's cold in here. i have fever, my frap is melting.

so instead of going home right away since i first felt this weird temperature disparity, i chose to stay. when i badly needed sleep. and with no ready cash. but a few weeks ago, i decided to go home in the midst of a really freaking hot summer afternoon (it was after one pm, go figure) having the same symptoms and i wasn't happy at all. so i decided to try the other way for now, and waited for the free ride home. (because luckily, today, i get a free ride home.).

i should have just stayed home and not spent as much money. too late for that. and to think the initial reason i took a sick day (originally a half-day, but circs have a way of going awry) is no longer itching to make its presence known. it lends credence to the popular school of thought that illness is largely psychological. just when the theory that the little buggers were living the high life in my epidermis has been dashed, once and for all, it's like i'm reborn. but i could have done without the flames from fawkes, thank you.

ok, i've spent two hours sitting like a good lamb in this sofa chair, no complaints. no highlights, either. just some good 'zine fodder and fern's latest teddy chapter. i have at least an hour left to go before i'm saved. ohhhhhh brother.

meme

picked up from wildmagelet. at first i couldn't figure it out, haha. especially since i found myself having a lot of answers in common with hers.

1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks.
- also creek
2. What the thing you push around the grocery store is called.
- a cart
3. A metal container to carry a meal in.
- also lunch box, if it's an actual box. if it's a plastic container, it's tupperware. hehehe.
4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in.
- we also call it frying pan here
5. The piece of furniture that seats three people.
- mostly we call it sofa, but couch is also becoming more common
6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof.
- haha i don't know, in filipino we call it alulod
7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening.
- if it's at the front, it's a porch. at the back, it's a terrace. hanging, it's a balcony.
8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages.
- softdrink, or more commonly, by their proper brand. coke or pepsi.
9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup.
- pancakes/hotcakes
10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself.
- submarine? i actually thought Subway subs. or just plain sandwich. but if it's hotdog, it's called hotdog sandwich. heheh.
11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach.
- swim trunks... but on second thought, guys here don't wear trunks unless they're competing in a swim meet. so maybe shorts.
12. Shoes worn for sports.
- rubber shoes
13. Putting a room in order.
- cleaning
14. A flying insect that glows in the dark.
- firefly
15. The little insect that curls up into a ball.
- whuh? i don't know this one
16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down.
- seesaw
17. How do you eat your pizza?
- if in a restaurant, with a fork and knife. if at home, straight from the box to my mouth. or on a plate, sometimes.
18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
- garage sale
19. What's the evening meal?
- supper, but here it's mostly called dinner.
20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
- basement. but we don't have furnaces.
21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?
- i know we also call it something other than fountain, but i don't remember.
I Am: a filipino currently living in the philippines, and we learned english the way most americans speak it on tv.

last day of the week

living in a predominantly christian country has its benefits. like having this long weekend before easter. the work week officially ends today, but even better, it's a half day at the office. yay!

since i'm not really inclined to do anything remotely related to work, i'm posting a couple of memes from my f-list.

this one's from sciathan_file:

Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, thoughts on yaoi, favorite type of underwear, graphic techniques, etc. Repost in your own journal so that we can all learn more about each other.

and this one from a pretty happy ladybracknell

1. I've come to realize that my ex... might probably never exist in my life. hah.
2. I am listening to... someone else's playlist
3. I talk... mostly on YM, with alohachary1851
4. I love... staying up late doing virtually nothing. productive, that is.
5. My best friends... have gotten married or are about to be married. suddenly i realized how empty my social life is.
6. My first real kiss... is yet to happen. pathetic.
7. I lost my virginity... in my dreams, to this guy i had a really big crush on during high school senior year.
8. I hate it when people... don't have a sense of urgency
9. Love is... a very very very elusive dream
10. Marriage is... something you work on every day
11. Somewhere, someone is thinking... it's too hot for any kind of travel
13. I have a secret crush on... this really cute guy i used to work with.
14. The last time I cried was because... my mum made me.
15. My cell phone... is a really old clamshell (nokia 7200) that i only borrowed from my aunt because my newest one was stolen
16. When I wake up in the morning... i pick up my cell and press snooze
17. Before I go to sleep at night... i pray (if i'm awake enough to remember)
18. Right now I am thinking about... facebook. and this fic i'm working on.
19. What should question 19 be? I regret.... so many little things in life that i can't count.
20. I get on LiveJournal... almost all the time, if i'm on internet
21. Today, I... am waiting to end this half-day i had to stay at the office (well, i'm still lucky we're going to be sent home early...) and then head on to greenbelt and see if there's confession at the chapel.
22. Tonight, I will... pack my management book in my suitcase. i'm going out of town with the family tomorrow.
23. Tomorrow, I will... be catching the flight to cagayan de oro city. and hopefully work on my paper while my mum is doing her "retreat"
24. I really want... to be done with strama. so that i can finally have the social life without the guilt.
25. The person most likely to repost this is... probably chary, and metawolfmagus

advanced happy easter everyone!

burning the midnight oil

omg this is just. too. silly. a result of two hours of sleep the previous night, all-around fatigue, and trying to stay up and study the night away. a saturday night at that.

it actually starts midnight saturday/sunday.

countdown to an hour

12.02 on my laptop's clock. let's see if i can last an hour before succumbing to sleep.

12.36 i'm still alive, a bit more than barely, though every minute is a test made from hell. started playing my ipod connected to a speaker... "are you all right?" ron asked the beuatiful girl, he know wthat molly would do us in your pants later akoo.


i hope thie se-

dang i hate closing my eyes on my late, somdd

and definete;u you can secon nad straten you hair. it is siend


12.41 (omg what kind of sentence was that????) i kept changing up the songs on my ipod so that i can finally reached his hand, whoever thought to Im[erius her, but that would mean too much, they were plasiging and dad

12.43 i swear i am doing more to this entry, which i shall say, that harry, he know you are no problem. ron and hermione, this is what we cam here

12.44 man sleep... i really need it, after only two hours last niiiiiiiiiiight

so. did it make any sense? i though not. i mean, anything at all that doesn't make sense, like the harry potter references... that's the sleep talking. hahahahahaha.

i. am. so. annoyed.

my external hard disk refuses to work. all my mp3s are in there. *weeps*

i'm with stupid

it's another friday afternoon, and i'm waiting - impatiently - for the clock to point to 530.

it's been a not-so-good day all around. i just want to go home. i'm tired, cranky, and feel so, so stupid. and for the hundred thousandth time, wishing that my strama is over and done with . so i can get on with the rest of my life.

just a little bit of jkr pimpin'

take a break, have a kitkat.

http://www.bworldonline.com/Weekender012508/main.php?id=environment4

three in a row

meme doing the rounds at lj, nicked from ladybracknell and metawolfmagus

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. kristin
2. tin
3. definitely not mae

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. emmerdale
2. politics aside
3. under crisis

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: (this is a bit difficult)
1. that i can carry a computer monitor by myself
2. ?
3. ?

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. that i was never thin (though when i look at my hs pictures now i envy that kid)
2. i get tired too easily
3. too many things vying for this spot

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. a great part of my family tree goes back to visayas
2. we have a smallish hill behind the house
3. (ngerh brain dead)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. horror movies. i don't watch them.
2. failure
3. being alone in the world

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. music, especially now that i have my ipod *win*
2. either vito on the morning radio show or dos por dos on am radio
3. coffee

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
1. my glasses
2. an orange striped hoodie
3. my orange crocs

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. everything but the girl
2. sting
3. radiohead

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
1. umbrella, scott simon's version most especially
2. so sick, fall out boy's version
3. do it, nelly furtado

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1.
2.
3. (this is the reason i'm not even in a relationship)

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
1. i'm addicted to harry potter fan fiction.
2. i'm addicted to soda (i'd have said coke, but i don't want to confuse)
3. i'm happy

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. looks like a college boy
2. tall
3. neat looking

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. reading
2. surfing net
3. watching tv

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. not have this strama hanging over my head
2. get down to my strama assignments
3. sleep

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. be in a band
2. advice columnist
3. professional beta reader hahahaha

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. rome
2. london
3. wales (only if chary is with me hehehehe)

THREE NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. alexandra
2. anne
3. remus john :D

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. travel around the world
2. have my mum and dad and aunt and uncles be taken care of
3. fall in love for real

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. fangirling over cute guys
2. romance novel addict
3. i love big bags

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. my style idol is ellen degeneres
2. i love gadgets
3. i'm not very girly in general

THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. chary
2. mike :D
3. sirius black hahahaha

unlucky

WEASLEY LOVE: YOUR WEASLEY FUTURE
LJ Username
you'll have your first kiss with	ron
you'll have your first crush on	george
this weasley secretly adores you	percy
you will date	percy
you marry	george
happily ever after?	(8) - My reply is no. - (8)
This fun quiz by iluvronweasley - Taken 933 Times.

Get Free
Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

well, what did i expect, george ended up with angelina, not me. ngrhhhhh.

whaddya know?

nicked from metawolfmagus

Harry Potter Character Combatibility Test created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Neville Longbottom You are Neville Longbottom. You come across as shy, quiet, and reserved. Underneath, you are deeply caring of your friends and/or family and would put yourself at risk to defend them, even though you would usually exclude yourself from arguments. You don't care much for competition or glory. Maintaining peace and justice are much more important to you. Neville Longbottom 91% Remus Lupin 88% Albus Dumbledore 75% Ron Weasley 72% Luna Lovegood 69% Severus Snape 59% Draco Malfoy 53% Harry Potter 47% Percy Weasley 47% Hermione Granger 47% Bellatrix Lestrange 38% Oliver Wood 34% Sirius Black 28% Lord Voldemort 19%

oh well, i knew there was a reason i loved neville so much. and remus!!!! ohmygodohmygodohmygod *grins*