the story behind the picture

ok, i promised, and i intend to deliver this time, contrary to all expectations. i never considered myself lucky. i wasn't very good at games, i nver won anything big like a car or even a fricking cellphone. but evidence has been building up until i could deny it no longer. i was lucky in my own way. i really had to admit that when i realized i won a palm m105. wtf?

but a few years after that incident i still bemoaned the fallacy that i was unlucky. i got tickets to a movie premier once while listening to magic, and when i became a dedicated follower of klite i reckon i won a lot of prizes. but i'm getting ahead of myself now.

the klite cd box set was probably the biggest prize i ever won in klite, specifically on the morning brew. i didn't even win it the first time it was raffled off, i think as another anniversary promo item. it's not as collector-worthy as the sting cds i won on my 25th birthday (damn, that was five years ago?) but the sting cds i could have gotten anywhere. not the cd box set.

obviously the set came with a box, like you'd expect. but it is so flimsy that i threw it away in a fit... i kinda miss it in a way, but i'm well rid of another piece of junk in my room. but the cds, man. the songs probably represent all that i love (and some of what i hate) in rock music, and the station. pearl jam. blurry. third eye blind. sheryl crow. incubus. man, if maroon 5 had already been making waves st the time, they'd have been on the cd. most of all, the songs represent my life in music. i just can't say it enough, klite and i are soulmates. and like all good things, the relationship had to end.

so, thank you klite, for this cd box set and the sting cds, the couple of vcds, and the numrouse movie tickets you gave me through vito and mylinda and anjanette and whoever else. thank you for letting me watch batman begins with one of my best friends, and giving me and excuse to take a guy friend on a movie date (suspense thrillers aren't something i'd pick to watch on my own). thank you for getting me and my two best friends free entrance to tapika to see paolo santos, and giving my friend ten fricking passes to gateway cinema so i could catch some movie with him and our two chaperons (another looooooong story). in fact, thank you for giving me a semblance of a love life, because now that you're gone, guess what? that life is now over. but that's ok. all good things come to an end.

take me dancing

so, it isn't my intention to chronicle every-frickin'-day of my last fifteen days as a twentysomething. it just happened that i'm feeling a bit better than i have since five days ago, and i have a little time on my hands, and i'm holding off the season 1 finale of how i met your mother. and i suddenly saw these:

a large part of my twentysomething years is spent with one ear glued to the radio and the dial pointing at 103.5. if my high school had LS, and the cool college kids (ahem) was listening to NU in the wee hours, my soundtrack for the MBA years was klite. it started one morning, my first month at school and consequently first month living alone for the first time evah! and i was dial-surfing. i couldn't quite catch magic, and i was annoyed with chico and delamar (still am, actually) and i happened on this radio station at the other end of the dial where the music is just right down my alley and the djs were just the right amount of witty. thus began my 5-year love story with klite 1035.

...five years? but the story started six years ago!?!

sadly, kids, every love story has to end sometime. and no matter what the books say, it always ends in death. november 2006, i was astounded to hear vito (my favorite dj of all time) make the announcement that the morning brew was signing off for the second time (looooong story). after eleven years, the station itself was closing down and being made over. though the loyal army of listeners probably isn't half as many as those rushers, we were a pretty decent lot, and we were... loyal. and i think i speak for everyone by saying no other station was ever like klite. like, no one else had that eclectic mix of rock and not-quite-pop spanning even as far back as the 70s (or 60s, if you count the doors). i still miss the feeling of hearing maroon 5 (before they got teenage-girls-popular) right next to hall and oates and sting. damn.

klite would have celebrated its thirteenth anniversary two (or three? i forget now) days after my birthday. i kinda regret now not taking the 10th anniversary tickets my friend offered me for my birthday three years ago (there were guilt-inducing circumstances) and if i had a chance i'd really love a similar music- and booze-filled night this year. except that i'm not very aware of any such similar circumstances at this time. anybody got any ideas? and tickets will be much appreciated ;)

oooh, btw, i actually attended a klite anniversary bash four years ago and i told the story here.

you keep me hanging on but we're not moving on

happy happy day! it's the third time i've listened to vito's broadcast on the revamped 1035 max fm. today's the first time i lasted the whole 3-hour slot. i've really missed the stuff he plays, and i missed the understated wit. hopefully he'll get a regular spot soon.

btw when he read my message over the air he referred to me as an old old friend. well, he does seem like a friend to me already, after four years of being a regular listener to the morning brew. 'la lang, guess i'm really flattered.

here's my song for the day. vito played this song around noon, and it just struck me. not a particularly significant song in terms of message, just an upbeat angsty song... i do seem to like those a lot.

she calls me baby
then she won't call me
says she adores me
and then ignores me
(jenny, what's the problem?)

she keeps her distance
and sits on fences
puts up resistance
and builds defenses
(jenny, what's the problem?)

you keep me hanging on the line
everytime you change your mind

first you say you won't
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
jenny, you've got me on my knees
jenny, it's killing me

she needs her own space
she's playing mind games
ends up at my place
saying that she's changed
(jenny, what's the problem?)

i'm trying to read between the lines
you got me going out of my mind

first you say you won't
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
jenny, you've got me on my knees
jenny, it's killing me

-- the click five, jenny

my baby's got the bends, we don't have any real friends

- radiohead, the bends

two of my regular morning companions are anjanette and vito. they're not from the office, nor are they my pet dogs (and i'm not looking for any in the near future, thank you). they're only the voice of non-reason in my head, especially when my earphones are plugged in and my mp3 player is in radio mode. welcome to my daily habit, the one i don't want to quit.

in the four years or so that the morning brew has been on air, i'd probably been listening for almost the same length of time. except for the time that they changed the station format and got eric to come on board temporarily... i guess it just proves that the jocks were the essence of the show. i'm rambling, i know. i've said all of this before, here. so anyway, vito came back and anjanette took over the news reporting duties. soon they got the show back on track, especially with the return of a much-loved segment, the morning brew playlist. and after almost two years, they brought back another popular segment, the morning brew cd archive. a segment i had been on twice in mylinda's time. and just this week, i renewed my acquaintance with vito when i came on board for the third time.

it's pretty obvious, i like my 15 minutes of fame. if i can stretch it to half an hour, so much better. talking about one of my favorite things -- music -- is definitely a bonus. another plus is the chance to finally put on board one of my top 5 albums of all time, from one of my top 5 bands of all time: the sophomore-jinx jinxer, radiohead's the bends.

like i said on air that day, radiohead is more than just that rocker knockoff creep (a song i hated, by the way). and they're not just this way cool band that is so introspective it gets weird, like they are in ok computer and the three albums since (or what i've heard so far from them... i got bored too soon). critics have heaped praises and the brits all but stood them up next to the beatles, but i also wonder: what's the big deal? maybe this album is about the most i can handle from them. but this is where people started treating them seriously, instead of as "just another rock band". there is beauty in transition.

the great thing about this outing was, i think i did make an impact. i remember this regular texter who thought the band is overrated, with all that hoopla about karma police and the other stuff. after he heard the first song (i picked just, one of the less recognizable singles), he might have been tempted to give the band another chance. most of the other messages were about wanting to hear my iron lung, but i thought that the album deserved to be exposed beyond the hit singles. besides, i was not passing up the chance to let people hear my favorite radiohead song, black star. oh, and this dude actually thought the album was cool, and so was i. haha! i mean, come on, the whole point is of this exercise is to delude myself that i am cool. i the man!

coffee, anyone?

it has been more than two weeks now. i didn't think i could move on so quickly. now i only feel the sadness for something that will never be. but i've already accepted the event that was inevitable but had come too soon.

the date was august 31. the time: 7.15 am.

it was the last episode of the morning brew with vitto and mylinda.

---

that day was a bit hectic for me. i had to submit my midterm paper and i was no way near done, even after a late night jotting down ideas. when my pseudo roommate woke me up at 6.30 i almost rushed into the shower. not only because i wanted to get to the office early to get my creative juices flowing.

at 7.00 i turned up the volume of the radio, eagerly awaiting the morning brew playlist. a few minutes later i finally discovered the significance of the theme.

in the immortal words of r.e.m., it was the end of the world as i knew it.

---

everything, including my midterm paper, faded into nonexistence. my ears and my whole being was focused on the radio, on the people who have been my morning companions for the last two years. the voices who have been both alarm clock and snooze button. the mine of information and the source of great laughs. the best specimens of state-funded collegiate education on local fm radio. the pair that is obviously intelligent, witty, amusing, and definitely not irritating. (i know, i know... i'm going to therapy already. just kidding.)

every word, every hint of emotion took a life of its own in my mind. the aptly titled "last playlist" became especially significant. and in true morning brew fashion, it began with an obscure theme called "the final countdown", and included songs many listeners like myself knew and loved. it was perfect. the runaway winner was the song i had begged to be included (vito actually read my message on the air the day before). i had felt it was most fitting, actually. and i think they both loved it as much as i did.

---

it was gratifying and depressing at the same time listening to the last time i would hear my all-time favorite djs on air together. the onslaught of messages for the playlist was testimony to the number of lives they have touched in the two years they took over the morning slot. i had a feeling they finally gave in to their seldomly-revealed schmaltziness, anyway it was their last day. the moment i recognized the athenaeum song played, i realized the extent of vito's influence on my preferences (what i didn't know and 311's amber became fast favorites). i waited with bated breath for them to play a clair marlo song (something i had in common with mylinda), but i guess it would have been just too depressing. vito introducing tori's special request made me realize they were the only show i knew where the traffic reporter was a regular participant. and mylinda going on about running overtime with eric waiting to get on board brought back the moments when i wished the show didn't end.

---

but it did that day, for the last time. it wouldn't be an exaggeration to claim it was as if part of my self was taken away from me forever. false modesty aside, i knew that i as a listener had a part in what the show had become in those two years. being a very active listener, i had invested considerable time, effort, and money (in the form of mobile phone bills) and made that show my own. as all the other loyal listeners have made it their own as well. and i knew, though to a lesser extent, how vito and mylinda felt when they had to let go of their baby. it's always sad to say good bye to a worthy creation.