Monday, February 15, 1999

letting go

yesterday was just another day
but too many things reminded me how different it was
and it was obvious how i stuck out like a sore thumb. or did i?
many couples celebrated that day; i didn't, since i am only one, and you come into this somehow
you were supposed to save me from this plight
however, the role didn't suit you
and for the year that i wish it had
i was hoping in vain
this is the end of that year.
i don't want to nurture that hope anymore,
it's not healthy
but maybe even you realize
how hard it is to lose one's feelings
for someone else.
because although the head thinks
the heart still feels
the mind might dictate
but emotions cannot be dictated upon.
so i hope you understand
that although i'll try not to bug you now
i have to remember that i shouldn't.

Saturday, January 2, 1999

just when you think it's love...

why is love so vague? so confusing? so abstract? why can't we know what we feel is love unless we convince ourselves of it? there is the dilemma. am i in love because i feel something? or maybe the mind dictates the adjective? and moreso, are the arguments all valid? is the friendship we have enough to go on? you could have shown something that made me stop and think or anything you did would still be misconstrued.

questions to ask when you think you're falling in love:
  1. love? that fast?
  2. is love about measuring heartbeats?
  3. are you really feeling something, or are you just looking for an escape?
  4. is it your mind or your heart doing the talking?
  5. are you feeling this way because of something the other person did for you? would you feel the same if that person had nothing at all to do with you?
  6. corollary: if the other person would react unfavorably, would you still feel the same?