fairy tales and fridays

once upon a time...

there was once a woman who had given up on love. she came to a point where she believed that she'll never find that one person for her, if he had even existed. then she realized that the one person she had counted on for so long was THE ONE. a wedding ceremony and a honeymoon trip later, she was well on her way to her happily ever after.

this is not my story though. as far as i know, it only existed between the pages of the sort of fiction i usually indulged in.

now, there was this girl who was rapidly losing faith that anything romantic will ever happen in her life, yet still holds that secret wish deep within her heart. sometimes it does show up on her sleeve. but love still did not come, however long she waited. then one day it came knocking, in the guise of someone totally unexpected -- but of course, totally acceptable to her tastes, he should be at least pleasant to look at -- and they went into the sunset together.

still not me. but how i wish it would be.

finally, there was a young woman who was so immature that she still was a girl, and is so hopeless that she resorts to reading countless romance paperbacks and dreaming of happy endings to fill up the empty spaces. how she went from being a promising achiever to a laidback, uninspired, and dull slacker is hard to comprehend, but it happened, and whatever lesson she needed to learn, i just wish she'd learn it soon, because she can't put her life at a standstill forever. or she might, and never know just how magnificent the rewards can be if only she worked to get them. maybe then, she'll find the love she'd been waiting for all her life.

the end. for now.

not a real post

i still haven't seen closer, so i'm not answering the question i posted.

i found a new friend who tagged me at my *better* blog. she's also a dashboard confessional fan, and she's probably more astig than i ever was at her age. loved her choice of bands. guess i would have also chosen them if i was still in college. brings back memories of shooting the breeze with romily and mike -- they're the two people who understand my edgier musical preferences.

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i promised i wouldn't write about something controversial in this blog. that kind of thing is reserved for my other blog, because otherwise i might not be able to restrain myself. so i'll let a friend of mine say it for me.

mark's blog

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i'm having a grand time. i'm getting by at work, i'm getting a shot for heart candy, and i'm still hanging on. i'm mixed up. but i'm luckier than most people. i'm living my life.

everybody's changing

finally, the verdict is in.

all that i have worked for in the past one year and two months can now be described in two words: killing time.

in other words, the project has been shelved, indefinitely. even if pulling the plug on the project is yet to be made official, my new role has already been announced to senior management two weeks ago. that was two weeks of frustration, anxiety... and my favorite part of all, waiting.

uncertainty is one of the key concepts of actuarial study, but this is taking it to a different level. having to use my scant knowledge to help a company i knew next to nothing about is a big challenge. and one i'm scared to take on. but i have nothing to lose. in fact, i have everything to gain. especially with my strategic paper hanging over my head.

all in all, i think i'm relieved that i'm on my way out of the project. one of the things i hated about it was the feeling of uncertainty (there it is again...). and with all the other members of the team already gone, pulling the plug will hopefully give me the closure i needed.

it's time to start a new day.

sharing blessings

a few days ago, my horoscope advised me to "spread my wealth" to my friends. seems to me i have been doing that for the past month or so. not literally (although i have done it a few times as well) but i have been busy this past month just by being a friend to other people.

first off, there's the friend i'm helping with her strategic management paper. as in really helping ha. although she's done a lot of work on her own and with other people, we had to work some figures to support her strategy. and it was not easy, knowing i had little experience in actuarial and sales forecasting. but i guess i contributed my knowledge in numbers-crunching (translation: pandodoktor ng data hehehe). the funny thing is, another classmate asked for help in his strama paper! fortunately he only validated his opinions and we didn't have to go through all that stuff i did with the other.

the second thing is one of my pet hobbies, giving advice to the lovelorn. i happened to catch up with a friend of mine from way back, with really uncanny timing. he was on the so-called fork on the road to his happiness; not knowing whether to maintain the status quo or to finally break free from his attachment. the hard part was getting him to take a stand, being the confused person that he is right now. and staying objective, because i had to shift paradigms to give him the complete picture. and just like in the previous case, i encountered another sad story just today. another one of my friends is experiencing love problems of her own, although this time the decision is pretty much obvious. and not less painful.

now having done my good deeds to others who need my help, when will i be able to do my good deed to the one who needs it most -- myself? but then, a doctor can hardly be expected to diagnose himself. so ate helen really can't come to my rescue now.