more than meets the eye

took a break yesterday and spent the whole afternoon bumming... and burned 400 bucks in the process. but who cares, i enjoyed it. seeing the transformers on the big screen is soooo worth it.

galing talaga ni optimus prime.

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spoiler alert:

during the end credits, the (controversial? at least to purists) songs contributed by linkin park and smashing pumpkins were played. thought they were good, but maybe not spectacular.

the part i loved (or at least remembered, the movie was over 2 hours long) was when the geekboy sam brought his new-second hand yellow 1974 camaro (ring any bells?) to the lakeside, hoping to connect with the hot chick mikaela. just as he thought his chance has slipped away, he sees mikaela starting to walk home. suddenly the car's stereo plays drive by the cars. hahahahaha. this whole sequence was just cute. i just can't remember all the songs played in this sequence, though i still remember marvin gaye's sexual healing somewhere there.

overwhelmed

60 days and counting. well, 30 days if i was batting for the first deadline. but at the rate i'm going, that's fast becoming a remote possibility. and if i keep up like this, i'll be failing the class submissions part. bummer. that gives me a chance in hell that i'll even get a passing mark in strama.

last saturday saw a repeat of the "frantic phone call." this time i called best bud mike. lucky for him i was in a public place or it would have been accompanied with sobs and a flood of tears. i really don't know what i was looking for with that call. maybe i wanted to unload all my frustrations, or to validate that i am not dumb after all. but sometimes, the words "kaya mo yan" can only get you so far.

i don't want to sound like a broken record. and i don't want to be a hypocrite and say that i don't want to involve other people in my mess -- or i shouldn't have said anything about it. but strama is plain driving me nuts. it is testing my patience, my perseverance, my ability to cope with pressure, and my faith. three years is a long time to have this at the back of my mind, and i am plain tired. but my mind and my hands refuse to cooperate.

i kept reminding myself of the things i am free to do once i've finished. catch up with my reading backlog. learn to drive. go out more often. finally be free of guilt. i get on a high, and five minutes later i stand up from my chair and try to walk off my frustration. i just can't see my way through. how my other classmates did is a big mystery. i can't let this hold me back. but at the same time, i wonder if i was even ready for it.

just some buzz

thanks to pk for the video clip of m5's makes me wonder. i couldn't play it on my office pc (it has *gasp!* windows media player 2) and i can't wait until i got home... so i bugged officemate larsen, who also loved the new album, to play it on his pc. most people think adam levine is so hot and i'm no exception. dunno why i brought it up, it's such a boring subject. but sorry, this is my blog so i'll do what i want. so sit tight while i sing along to makes me wonder, live @ aol version. (thanks to doug for this one!)

...

ok, song's done.

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there's a rumor going around about a hardy boys movie, starring tom cruise and ben stiller. actually, it's almost a done deal. but the general consensus seems to be: take tom out of the project. can't imagine him as frank. really. and he's too short. the fanfic i read suggests keanu reeves as frank and matt damon as joe. i'm not that sold on keanu, either... too brooding (or in pinoy slang, o.a.) i like matt just fine, though owen wilson might be a more obvious choice for joe. and after racking my brains, maybe eric bana for frank. yay! that's because i saw lucky you a few weeks ago. it has to be a perfect match, because i love frank! but right now, it just doesn't look good. what can i expect, since frank didn't end up with nancy...

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ever since i've heard of blackberry i've always wanted to own one. when before i preferred the look of palm, the new bb models are the machines to beat. i'm currently setting my sights on the newest, the blackberry curve. by the time it gets here or maybe in singapore, i'll hopefully have enough money to get it. i wish.

i know you're there but i'll pretend like i don't care

one of the symptoms you're suffering from heartache is the tendency to identify with every song ever recorded, no matter how far off the mark they were. it's either the sentiments are exactly the same, or it's something you wish you could say if the situation ever arose. this is something i wish he'd say to me. (except for the gender, it's something i wish i could tell him.)

this was also looping in my head (along with makes me wonder) last saturday night. also known as the day of the wedding. (not his, though.) guess this proves that weddings bring out the worst and best of us.

this relationship is over, though my stomach still hurts
and i've wanna live alone, why is the pain much worse
you look so much better without makeup, why would you hide your face
don't wanna spend the night and wake up, realize we made a big mistake

i cannot refuse your eyes
please don't look at me tonight
my heart beats fast, i know you're there
i'll pretend like i don't care
it hurts so bad to know the truth
but i am still in love with you

i never meant to keep you waiting, and now your food is getting cold
i keep denying i'm in love with you, my routine is getting old
now you standin' from the table, you say you'll never look back
do somethin' stupid when you ain't, you only wake up sad

i cannot refuse your eyes
please don't look at me tonight
my heart beats fast, i know you're there
i'll pretend like i don't care
it hurts so bad to know the truth
well girl, i'm still in love with you
it hurts so much to know the truth
well girl, i'm still in love with you

no more kises on the lips or tender touches please
i'd rather die on my two feet than let down on my knees
you know, the cuts you gave me opened up and start to bleed
and i just can't get over you until you're over me

i cannot refuse your eyes
please don't look at me tonight
my heart beats fast, i know you're there
i'll pretend like i don't care
i cannot refuse your eyes
please don't look at me tonight
my heart beats fast, i know you're there
i'll pretend like i don't care
it hurts so bad to know the truth
well girl, i'm still in love with you
it hurts so much to know the truth
well girl, i'm still in love with you

-- maroon 5, until you're over me

i still don't have the reason, and you don't have the time

i wake up with blood-shot eyes
struggled to memorize
the way it felt between your thighs
pleasure that made you cry
feels so good to be bad
not worth the aftermath, after that
after that
try to get you back

i still don't have the reason
and you don't have the time
and it really makes me wonder
if i ever gave a f- about you

give me something to believe in
cause i don't believe in you anymore, anymore
i wonder if it even makes a difference to try
so this is goodbye

god damn, my spinning head
decisions that made my bed
now i must lay in it
and deal with things i left unsaid
i want to dive into you
forget what you're going through
i get behind, make your move
forget about the truth

and you told me how you're feeling
but i don't believe it's true anymore, anymore
i wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
so this is goodbye

i've been here before
one day i'll wake up
and it won't hurt anymore
you caught me in a lie
i have no alibi
the words you say don't have a meaning cause..

i still don't have the reason
and you don't have the time
and it really makes me wonder
if i ever gave a f- about you and i...
and so this is goodbye

-- maroon 5, makes me wonder

i got you babes

i feel so happy. so invincible. all my worries are so far away. and i forgot about the million things i still have to do tonight. all this because i took the bus to work (one of my least favorite things) and was forced to watch you got me during the trip.

i don’t really go for sam milby. zanjoe marudo is even worse and toni gonzaga is only marginally better. the script needs more work and the story is far out at times. but somehow, the movie left a big impression on me. for today, at least, policeman kevin became the perfect man. i envied moe’s close relationship with her dad. the whole swat ops angle is a bit incredible, especially the role of kevin the i.t. guy in the team. but then, pinoy films are sometimes so unreal that i’m thinking it’s intentional.

maybe it was the closet (or not) romantic in me. maybe it’s the same as going around book sale kiosks and trying to find that romance paperback that will melt my heart – when i’ve got a thousand others collecting dust back at home. romance is associated with cheesiness, just like clichés. but much like clichés getting overused because they are truth, the universal truth is that romance is such a big part of our lives. no matter how tacky it gets.