i knew it.
in the tradition of murphy's law, whatever can make my last term at school be as difficult as i can imagine, is starting to happen.
first is the new ruling for the final paper, with all sorts of deadlines and penalties, not to mention the possibility of failing the subject and postponing graduation to next year.
then, as expected, after several months of relatively idle activity at the office, i suddenly found myself being given so much responsibility in order to fast track our project that has been long delayed. add to that my unresolved confusion and ambivalence over the project in the first place. and to cap it all, my boss has finally taken the step into her future without us.
when i first signed up for this thing, i only thought that it would be a great challenge to pull it off. i never imagined that it would come to this conflict of time.
this is one of those times i wish i was back to the old days.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
it's all in the mind
reaching the ripe old age of 26 can leave oneself in a constant state of reflection and introspection. case in point: pseudo-relationships.
for one who has had no experience in (real) romantic relationships, any and all incidents that remotely approach the possibility of one are subject to intense scrutiny and analysis, to the point that a minute matter (i.e., an impersonal message) brings vast differences in outlook and mood in a moment.
however, being reticent and careful by nature, nothing is revealed to any party where actions may be misconstrued to the effect that will bring about negative response, and cause loss of self-respect.
hence the battle for self-respect does not go beyond the mind. and within the mind is a mass of conflicting ideas that trigger various emotional dilemmas.
therefore, in the quest for self-respect there is also no commitment to the chosen course of emotional involvement, because no one is responsible for said implementation except for self. and because there is no outward indication of any decision made, except for any revelations to third parties.
in essence, it is difficult to let go of an attachment when one has not declared it in the first place.
Tuesday, November 2, 2004
good eats!
one of my favorite shows on the food network is alton brown's good eats. every episode he features one food item -- like tofu, for instance -- and tells its story in a very interesting manner. off-putting to some, maybe, but refreshingly different.
this is not a story on every food featured on good eats. but it is about good eats... the ones you encounter on that day when you least expect to celebrate food and the place that is highly suspect for hygiene. this is about the wonderful world of food you find on november first. at the cemetery.
when i started going to the catholic cemetery more than a decade ago, there is limited choice on offer. just the typical small-time carinderia fare like palamig, pineapple juice (di-takal syempre), banana cue, and the jack and jill fun snacks. at the time i rarely bought food from the stalls, usually i brought my own or i eat back at the house which is only a few minutes away. but now, the number of people in the cemetery just manning the food stalls can equal the number of visitors, any given time. and yesterday, i had the time of my life checking out the good eats.
at the cemetery entrance were the more popular food chains: mc donald's, pizza hut, doner durum (the local shawarma shop). a bit further is the purefoods stall, complete with the large skillet thing. here's where i got my bacon cheesedog sandwich and canned soda. but scattered on every remaining available space are the stalls selling proven, kwek kwek, squid balls, fish balls, even papu's siomai (one of uplb's most popular street food). i helped myself to a few bags of crispy chicken skin, only my mom's caution stopped me from getting the proven as well. of course, there are still the vendors selling the good old palamig and junk food, but with more choices than ever before. not to mention the people going around hawking chicharon, mani, kasoy, and "dirty" ice cream. and do you know that mc donald's has joined the bandwagon, offering their 20-peso burger mc do on foot?
long ago i shared the conservative sentiment that the celebration of all saints' day should be solemn and quiet -- meaning, none of the music, laughter, and the food. but times are different now. and i've learned that death should not be a mourning of a life's end, but a celebration of a life lived. it is not the dead that celebrate this occassion, it is the living. and as long as we keep faithful to the meaning of this day -- a day of remembrance and of faith in the afterlife -- who's to say that we can't enjoy it as well?
this is not a story on every food featured on good eats. but it is about good eats... the ones you encounter on that day when you least expect to celebrate food and the place that is highly suspect for hygiene. this is about the wonderful world of food you find on november first. at the cemetery.
when i started going to the catholic cemetery more than a decade ago, there is limited choice on offer. just the typical small-time carinderia fare like palamig, pineapple juice (di-takal syempre), banana cue, and the jack and jill fun snacks. at the time i rarely bought food from the stalls, usually i brought my own or i eat back at the house which is only a few minutes away. but now, the number of people in the cemetery just manning the food stalls can equal the number of visitors, any given time. and yesterday, i had the time of my life checking out the good eats.
at the cemetery entrance were the more popular food chains: mc donald's, pizza hut, doner durum (the local shawarma shop). a bit further is the purefoods stall, complete with the large skillet thing. here's where i got my bacon cheesedog sandwich and canned soda. but scattered on every remaining available space are the stalls selling proven, kwek kwek, squid balls, fish balls, even papu's siomai (one of uplb's most popular street food). i helped myself to a few bags of crispy chicken skin, only my mom's caution stopped me from getting the proven as well. of course, there are still the vendors selling the good old palamig and junk food, but with more choices than ever before. not to mention the people going around hawking chicharon, mani, kasoy, and "dirty" ice cream. and do you know that mc donald's has joined the bandwagon, offering their 20-peso burger mc do on foot?
long ago i shared the conservative sentiment that the celebration of all saints' day should be solemn and quiet -- meaning, none of the music, laughter, and the food. but times are different now. and i've learned that death should not be a mourning of a life's end, but a celebration of a life lived. it is not the dead that celebrate this occassion, it is the living. and as long as we keep faithful to the meaning of this day -- a day of remembrance and of faith in the afterlife -- who's to say that we can't enjoy it as well?
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