clarity

i can't be sure that this state of mind is not of my own design
- john mayer, something's missing

if i had my way, i would spend my life:

• waking up at 8. or 10. or 5, then going out for a run, and back to sleep and waking up again at 10.
• having leisurely breakfasts.
• reading or people watching at a coffee shop.
• surf the internet all day.
• browse the romance section in bookstores. and after that, maaaayyyyyybe the fiction section.
• catch gigs all over. could be big name artists foreign artists, popular local bands, open mic nights that friends recommend, or my own friends.
• set up coffee dates with my friends just to catch up.

however, i wasn't born with a bigass trust fund and this means i needed to earn my way through life. and life isn't easy at all; some things we'd rather not deal with are the exact things we have to do. like work. or show up at work. or go for training or skills upgrade. but we have to evolve because we can't always be what we are right now. we always have to get better.

it just occurred to me that a mere three weeks until my exam, i have very little knowledge in my arsenal. and i have to make the exam a priority - along with doing research for a project at work, and training for adidas king of the road, and losing more weight. so this means, letting go of the other things that matter to me but are not as important. if only i could.