the aftermath

really, i am never satisfied. i swore i would never do it again, and there i was. just because i heard the prof say that he was gonna pick up the papers on saturday morning.

backtrack: on friday night the paper was not even half done. sure i have all the research ready and web pages saved in my trusty flash drive. at eight i went to the school library, hoping to get myself in the mood (and get half the paper done in an hour would you believe?). but no, i ended up surfing. sure, i was looking up the share price of RIM and the website of the bureau of treasury, which wouldn't load. every excuse i could think of... pretending to work on my paper when i really am not.

at quarter to nine i resigned to the fact that i am so bushed. i had slept only three hours the night before and i am not functioning normally. i ended up at powerplant, sat on a bench watching passersby, and contemplated my next move. no, i would not go to press cafe and eat my blues away. no, i'm not going window shopping. so i just sat there. until i decided to get a cup of my favorite black cherry mocha at seattle's before i finally went home.

i got back to the dorm at past ten, and settled myself at the head of the dining table. i didn't even go up to my room to get dressed, i just scattered my papers and prepared to write. but not a word came out of my head. damn. massive mental block. i couldn't make sense out of my report! i ended up doing other stuff, like cleaning up my room and watching tv. and napping in front of the tv.

three a.m.! is that the time? omg i have to get out of here. i have to go to the computer shop and get it done by seven. so, finally, i got hold of my wandering mind and got down to business. i was panicking by 6.59, but i knew i was near the finish line. by 8.30 i was ready to print. i kept scaring myself with the thought that i would see an empty pigeonhole when i got to school, or worse, i would cross paths with my prof on the way up. fortunately none of that happened; all the papers i saw last night were still there, and i didn't even have a glimpse of the prof. so i rewarded myself with a breakfast at gram's before preparing for my long journey home.

lessons? i kept going back to the fact that i didn't have my own laptop, so i can carry it anywhere and do my thing in a conducive environment (like the library on thursday instead of going back home). but on friday i was ready to settle for a good old desktop in my room. imagine if i had to do this every time i have a paper due for strama class. it would be a nightmare! of course, i also realize that it's not the things i don't have that hinder me, though a laptop would really be a great help. i have to change my habits, and i mean major overhaul. i can just imagine what this next term is going to be like...

cramming, part 2

just imagine me banging my head now...

cramming my heart out

another day wasted.

today i availed my birthday leave. i really wanted to have it tomorrow but i let my boss make the choice, so here i am. and this day i am supposed to make huge progress on my final paper. which is due tomorrow. and which i haven't even started.

don't get me wrong, i have lots of ideas floating in my head. and i'm not one of those mba students who space out during class. in fact this is one of the best subjects i've ever taken, even compared to my undergrad math series (another subject altogether). but i've always had this tendency to leave anything waiting till the last minute. procrastinator is my middle name.

so, you might ask, why is a fairly paranoid mentally blocked grad student blogging instead of doing her paper?

typical excuse no. 1: i'm waiting for the PSE charts to upload (which i just noticed was not uploading properly).

typical excuse no. 2: i just saw my other blog site, not to mention my friends' blog sites, and my creative juices are flowing.

typical excuse no. 3: i am disturbed by the fact that i can't log on to my other blog site, and i am looking for an excuse to rant.

typical excuse no. 4: this is what i am, what i have been for so many years now, and what i will be in the future short of a miracle. expectations are fulfilled.

i still remember when i rushed a paper a few terms ago. i ended up staying in the office until past 10 and talking to god the whole time on my way to school. luckily for me the guards allowed me to get in, and the faculty room was still open. and i vowed never to repeat that experience.

hopefully from all the times i came close to missing my paper deadlines, i've learned my lesson. or instead i could just bang my head against the wall 10 times and get better results.

birthday bash

i just love october. every time i get within a few weeks to my birthday, i'm occupied thinking of all the things i want to do on that day (or week). like where i'd treat my best buds, or whether we'll go dancing or just hang out at some coffee shop. or who else i'll see or bump into while i'm out there.

however, it seemed that i was bound to be disappointed this year. my best friend (who is now also my roommate) is going on a trip up north, while my next closest friend has training scheduled every weeknight. we can't even go out all together on friday nights. so the day after my birthday i finally called my best male buddy and got him to go with me to the klite anniversary concert at the fort.

after bingeing on grilled eats, we took a short walk over to pier one and found true faith warming up the crowd. wow, i so loved that band! as there wasn't a large number of people we got great spots at the front. which was good thinking on our part because the next band was river maya. i had a great time singing along to the old songs, even if i'm not a great fan. by the time their set was done i had developed a fine crush on... hahaha! secret!

we stayed a little longer, watching hourglass (sans egay), bridge, and mojofly, before deciding to call it a night. we have also consumed 6 beers between the two of us, needless to say we had to call a halt to get home in one piece. as it was we were already acting like college kids... and bemoaning the fact that we aren't kids any more. do you know that walking at the fort at midnight is almost like strolling at lb? hmmm...

i really missed my late teenage years... i have always accepted that i'm a college kid at heart. and i'm glad that i got to indulge in one of my favorite things -- listening to great music -- for my birthday. a really cheap gimik (well, if you didn't count the dinner) with a friend who enjoyed it as much as i did, if not more. the ultimate celebration of life.

now, if i could only meet that guy...

games people play

it's friday and i've done with lunch. i should be at my desk right now doing my long-overdue assignment at work. but nooooo, i'm blog-hopping. and in the course of that occupation i encountered a quiz: which file extension are you? having been a sucker for quizzes and tests of any sort i followed the link and resigned myself to my fate.

want to take the test? click here:

Which File Extension are You?

too much time on my hands

because i view a lot of blogs in this server and i get tired of typing my url everytime, i created my own blog. a really brilliant reason to get an extra blog.

check out my original blog: http://politicsaside.blog-city.com

quoteable quotes

i had to dig deep into my inbox for this one...

i was having a text message marathon with a friend of mine, who mentioned that he was always sleepy. this was my reply:

"ang antukin... kulang sa tulog."

then i remembered why i was also sleepy that day:

"ang antukin... insomniac."

such is the product of a stagnating mind and a really boring afternoon.

words of wisdom

sometimes, in the course of conversation (especially when i'm wearing my advice columnist hat), i come up with a string of gibberish that becomes a manifestation of genius. i have to admit, a lot of them are unintentional, serendipitous, and at times induce stomach pains (from laughing so hard). but a lot of them are now gone forever from memory, and only a few are remembered.

so now, i'm starting a new series in my blog, to immortalise these gems forever, until the server of my blog host crashes.

Always remember that if a person loved you once, even after a hundred years, that love will still be there but the person will always deny it.