stay awake

this is the first time in the last few years that i've been this excited about christmas. maybe it's the ipod i'm supposed to be getting (which i haven't yet... grrr :D). but other than that, i really don't know what's different about this year. i just feel different for some reason.

i've taken the next few days off, which are the last few days of the year here in my part of the world. the 30th and 31st are official holidays, and since the 29th falls on a saturday, this means there are three days left for the year. yay. it just so happens that i have 3 days' leave left for this year.

i've not been expecting too much for this christmas, hence i wasn't disappointed with it like i felt the last few years. my goddaughters liked the presents i gave them, thankfully. and the family gatherings were all happy. i even got to take some naps, which i chose over internet time because sleep was a rare luxury in the last few days. i also got to watch mythbusters with my cousins, and we were laughing at the holiday-themed shenanigans of jamie, adam, tori, grant andkari. and then, to really make my day, i finally got to read my christmas present from alohachary1851. all those days i chatted with her while i'm at work lead to that very cute charlie/tonks story, an outtake on her mating of the wersh alternate universe. thanks for a lovely gift, chary!

my biggest achievement for this christmas, though, is completing the nine novena dawn masses, called simbang gabi, for the first time in my life. i have to thank my parents for that, too, for waking me up at an ungodly hour to make the 4 am mass. i didn't care that i seriously lacked sleep over the week this went on, and that i wasn't being my best self in the mornings. i finally finished it, and before i turn 30.

oh, and i think chocolate is the sole reason for holiday weight gain. especially if chocolate fountains are involved.

merry christmas to all!

listening to: punk goes 90's; radiohead, in rainbows; dashboard confessional, the shade of poison trees; foo fighters, echoes, silence, patience, & grace

it's you i fell into

picked this up from ladybracknell over at lj, again.

Comment on this post and I'll give you a band. Don't worry, I'll make it one you know and love. You put your ten favorite songs by that band on your LJ, then challenge others to do the same.

she picked foo fighters. although i love them to bits, i don't really know much of the songs beyond what became singles. like, haha. so i did a bit of review of in your honor as it is the only complete album i had.

1. everlong (a favorite song i apparently share with david letterman)
2. big me (the first foo song i performed with my high school band :D)
3. i'll stick around (the first foo song my band practiced)
4. times like these
5. dave's cover of arms wide open
6. learn to fly
7. miracle
8. walking after you
9. the deepest blues are black
10. best of you

if anything, i got to listen to the album in full once again. oh, can't wait for my new ipod.

train_lindz , meanwhile, picked radiohead. which i honestly thought was much easier, until i realized this would almost read like the tracklisting for the bends. which is the only album i really swear by.

1. black star
2. high and dry
3. just
4. my iron lung
5. thinking about you
6. karma police
7. everything in its right place
8. street spirit (fade out)
9. the bends
10. bones planet telex fake plastic trees

and metawolfmagus kindly gave a challenge of her own, and picked the police. so here goes:

1. king of pain
2. every little thing she does is magic
3. tea in the sahara
4. synchronicity II
5. message in a bottle
6. every breath you take
7. don't stand so close to me (especially the '86 version)
8. roxanne
9. so lonely
10. wrapped around your finger

you keep me hanging on but we're not moving on

happy happy day! it's the third time i've listened to vito's broadcast on the revamped 1035 max fm. today's the first time i lasted the whole 3-hour slot. i've really missed the stuff he plays, and i missed the understated wit. hopefully he'll get a regular spot soon.

btw when he read my message over the air he referred to me as an old old friend. well, he does seem like a friend to me already, after four years of being a regular listener to the morning brew. 'la lang, guess i'm really flattered.

here's my song for the day. vito played this song around noon, and it just struck me. not a particularly significant song in terms of message, just an upbeat angsty song... i do seem to like those a lot.

she calls me baby
then she won't call me
says she adores me
and then ignores me
(jenny, what's the problem?)

she keeps her distance
and sits on fences
puts up resistance
and builds defenses
(jenny, what's the problem?)

you keep me hanging on the line
everytime you change your mind

first you say you won't
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
jenny, you've got me on my knees
jenny, it's killing me

she needs her own space
she's playing mind games
ends up at my place
saying that she's changed
(jenny, what's the problem?)

i'm trying to read between the lines
you got me going out of my mind

first you say you won't
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
jenny, you've got me on my knees
jenny, it's killing me

-- the click five, jenny

the end is the beginning is the end, and it stinks

there's so much i want to write about harry potter. i know, it's been a month since i read deathly hallows. i have since read all the others, haphazardly though. but i seriously need an outlet for my angst (i am such a fangirl) because it's seriously interfering with my long-delayed schoolwork.

let's talk about that greasy-haired git. one of my favorite lines has got to be the one on my homepage. snape has been one of my favorite characters, precisely because he was a character. he's not like wise old dumbledore, the spinster aunt-ish mcgonagall, the overly confident yet bitter sirius, the paranoia-inducing mad-eye... the list could go on and on. he's not overly impressed with harry -- well, he's not overly impressed with most people -- and even dumbledore was not spared his sparkling wit.

"would you like me to do it now? or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"

it's rather disturbing to be reminded of his capacity for hatred and revenge. but then why be surprised, knowing how appallingly he was treated when he was a student, even beforehand. the character of snape is deliciously complex, in toeing the very fine line between good and evil, and knowing that sometimes it really is what we value most that makes all the difference. jo did a great job picking alan rickman as snape. alan is such a great actor, plus he does get the mumbling down pat. and oh god, he and the hair are like an old married couple. whenever i think back to love actually and his scenes with laura linney, he possesses the right amount of sarcasm needed to take on snape. snape needs load of it.

like harry, i thought the appearance of sirius in his life was far too short. the battle at the department of mysteries was definitely a three-hanky moment, which extends after harry's rage and grief has been spent somewhat. but in the grand scheme of things, sirius has served his purpose: to reveal the truth of what happened that halloween night, to be a proper (or not) godfather and friend to harry, to help along the revival of the order of the phoenix. i'm sad that i missed seeing the movie while it was showing at the cinemas, because even though i thought gary oldman was downright spooky when i saw prisoners of azkaban, i looked forward to hearing that maniacal laugh when sirius went through the veil.

finally, remus and tonks. i so did not see that coming at the end of half-blood prince. but when i reviewed the archive on fanfiction.net, stories on them started appearing even before the release date of hbp. since i went about reading the series in the wrong order (pun not intended), i wasn't sure if they weren't being set up since tonks first appeared on ootp, or if it was just wishful thinking. so anyway, they are my current flames. the dreadful (but understandable) lack of detail about their relationship is a mine of inspiration for fanfic writers, and i am really enjoying all the back stories they made up. it made me realize all the more that i am so into quiet, witty, bookish (as opposed to sporty) guys, but they must have a slightly sarcastic yet excellent sense of humor, originality, and also be a bit of a risk-taker. tall order, i know (again, not intended). and i am a little bit like tonks, especially about the clumsiness (plenty flat-footed), the music, and being a tomboy. not as brave as her, though.

so, the point of all of this is... i love tonks and remus! (can't deny it, i am a fangirl.)

i dream of jeannie

... or cutie pie. yep, the cutie pie. i dreamt of him again. can't divulge much of what happened, partly because of privacy issues (mine), partly because of secrecy issues (like, someone is bound to get it, and i'm busted), but mostly because i can't remember much.

but from what i do recall, several kilig moments. as if they ever go beyond that. but then, much less in real life!

at least i know that god has a sense of humor. here i am going all crazy, and he gives me comic relief.

so i'm going back to crazy mode again. 24 hours to construct a paper? why do i even bother...

have a break, part n + 1

in honor of a major revamp of my iRiver playlist. here are the newest and most notable additions.

foo fighters, everlong -- this triggered my most recent music recall phase. i'm now going through in your honor after about two years of ignoring the darn mp3s. i'm pretty sure this song will be a subject of a future "songs of my life" post so i won't pre-empt that. but having seven foo songs on my player (plus marty's rockstar inxs performance) is kinda telling how much i like them right now. and this is the first time i heard the original version of times like these (i've only ever heard of the acoustic version, same as everlong) and it rocks.

btw, i read somewhere that when dave letterman came back to his show after having heart surgery or something, he introduced the foos as his favorite band, playing his favorite song, which was everlong.

chris cornell, black hole sun -- i normally stay away from anything chris cornell, but i kinda like this mp3 from the bbc sessions that i picked up over on the office network. there's also a cover of you've got to hide your love away that isn't bad at all.

akon, smack that -- having a seatmate who is into so much r&b and all that kinda stuff sometimes does rub up on you. so maybe i'm a closet r&b junkie (or whatever this stuff is actually called). i always think of it as good driving music.

katharine mcphee, over it -- another great (and most fortunate) find from aforementioned officemate. i just can't get over this song, so lyrics are posted here:

i'm over your lies
and i'm over your games
i'm over you asking me
when you know i'm not okay
you call me at night
and i pick up the phone
and though you be tellin' me
i know you're not alone

oh and that's why your eyes
i'm over it
your smile
i'm over it
realized
i'm over it, i'm over it
i'm over

wanting you to be wanting me
no that ain't no way to be
how i feel, read my lips
because i'm so over
(i'm so)
movin' on, it's my time
you never were a friend of mine
hurt at first, a little bit
but now i'm so over
i'm so over it

i'm over your hands
and i'm over your mouth
trying to drag me down
and fill me with self doubt

oh and that's why your world
i'm over it
so sure
i'm over it
i'm not your girl
i'm over it, i'm over it
i'm over

(oh) don't call, don't come by
ain't no use don't ask me why
you'll never change
there'll be no more crying in the rain
no, oh oh
i'm over it

-- katharine mcphee, over it

thunder only happens when it's raining

i was so running late. i looked through my closet, and couldn't find a single good dress or skirt to wear. finally i remember that i have this sleeveless green top -- definitely a notch up from my usual work duds -- which i paired with black pants when i attended a wedding. both were pressed and ready, and casual enough for the occasion. the place was in shambles from the hurricane that was me getting dressed, clothes strewn haphazardly across the bed and on the floor. my mind was so messed up with putting on the final touches and picking up everything i needed.

suddenly, out of the blue, he appeared. i don't know if he got impatient, or was just plain anxious, or if he just couldn't wait to see me. but he was there, right in front of me, and my heart skipped a beat. he cleaned up really nice. it was the first time i saw him fix up his hair, and i couldn't resist teasing him about it.

it seemed like only seconds, but we must have talked for several minutes before we realized that we had to go. i didn't know where exactly we were going, or what was in store for us, but when he took my hand i knew i made the right choice. we made the right choice. i lead him back to the stairs and out into the world where everything seemed to go our way.

then i opened my eyes, and i knew it was all just wishful thinking.

live earth and no more

i had the time of my life this morning. i spent a part of my sunday hanging out at town center. made darn sure i got my laptop and enough money to buy wifi load, and parked my gear at the coffee bean. while mum read the paper at the next table, i was busy doing what i love doing best -- downloading. and this week's stash: live earth videos.

right this moment i'm watching the beastie boys. not a big big fan, but i do love sabotage (especially the video). so i'm lucky it's in their setlist.

i also downloaded the crowded house performance. neil finn's voice shows his age, but the playing is really, really tight. and i'm impressed with how they went on with the show when the lights (but not the sound) went out. galeeeeeeng.

then there's also the pumpkins (today) and foo fighters, which was my favorite set if only because of everlong. but that's another story.

lastly, the one i was anticipating most was the police. it turned out to be such a disappointment. and it's all because of kanye west. as in, i wish i could just delete him and the whole thing would be heaps better. but i can't.

btw, spinal tap + every bass player in the known universe is a hoot.

---

i got the videos here.

have a break, part n

songs with the most plays on my iRiver

imogen heap, goodnight and go -- obvious ba, my last post was about this.

ben lee, birthday song -- best bud mike told me about his favorite song of the week and sent me a link. then i saw the commercial on etc. ano nga ba yun, one tree hill? di ko akalain nanonood pala non si mike.

maroon 5, makes me wonder & little of your time -- saya kasi, kahit ang weird nung lyrics. nice beat pero angst pala. much like me. i'm sure sawang-sawa na yung nasa kabila ng cubicle wall ko kakarinig sa kin mag-sing along.

barbra streisand & barry gibb, guilty -- i don't like to admit it, but i love 70's music. and the beegees. plus, this song has a hook you can't believe. try listening 3 minutes 27 seconds into the song. i swear, nire-repeat ko talaga yon.

tonic, you wanted more -- ang hilig ko yata talaga dun sa mga songs na upbeat pero malungkot pala. basta.

it's impossible to ignore you

today is the day i finally got my copy of this song. i never really thought whether i liked froufrou, but i was stuck on this song when it came out. then dj uploaded imogen's album a year ago... but i didn't get to download this track, i only managed to get hide and seek. hay, tagal rin bago ko to nahanap. buti na lang talaga may multiply. hehehe.

nga pala, this song is dedicated dun sa cute na cute (oo na, exagg) na guy somewhere. can't tell, baka me makahuli eh. hehehe.

say goodnight and go

skipping beats, blushing cheeks i am struggling
daydreaming bed scenes in the corner cafe
and then i'm left in bits recovering tectonic tremblings
you get me every time

why'd you have to be so cute?
it's impossible to ignore you
must you make me laugh so much?
it's bad enough we get along so well
say goodnight and go

follow you home, you've got your headphones on and you're dancing
got lucky, beautiful shot, you taking everything off, watch the curtains wide open
then you fall in the same routine, flicking through the tv, relaxed and reclining
and you think you're alone...

ch.2

one of these days, you'll miss your train and come stay with me (it's always say goodnight and go) we'll have drinks and talk about things, any excuse to stay awake with you
you'll sleep here, i'll sleep there, but then the heating may be down again (at my convenience)
we'd be good, we'd be great together
*sigh*

ch.3

why's it always always goodnight and go?
oh darling not again
goodnight and go

-- imogen heap, goodnight and go

two princes and some lab rats

it's another sunday. and like every sunday before this one, i get allergic to work of any kind. and i watch lots of tv.

after watching oprah on the hallmark channel, i stuck around for the dateline interview with william and harry. yep, THE william and harry. like most people i'm fascinated with royalty... well, we're all fascinated with what we can never have, right? but as they were sitting there conversing with matt lauer, all i could think of was just how comfortably (or not) they were doing that interview. if i'd been sitting there like that for the time it took me to watch them, i'd be really itching to move. and william isn't as cute as i'd imagined him to be. not all the time, anyway.

good thing axn was just one channel away from hallmark, because during breaks i got to watch csi. tonight they aired the one episode i wanted to see this season: lab rats. the one where the bida aren't the csis or even jim and sofia, but -- you guessed it -- the lab rats. archie kao, wendy sims, some other guy i didn't know, and of course david hodges. i finally understood the fascination some kids over at fanfiction.net had on hodges. and why they raved over this episode. for once, the guys doing the back office work -- where the brilliant greg sanders used to rule when he was dna tech -- got the spotlight. and the writers gave them real cred by leaving hodges to come up with a vital connection for the season's story arc. enough gushing, i'm just waiting for miami ink to come on.

i also got a new keyboard today. not that i'm really pissed with my laptop's keyboard, but the full size one does make an easier time of it. i haven't tried out the number keypad yet, which is the main reason i got this keyboard. i got a number keypad for the laptop a few months ago, and while it's cool to use (especially for us dealing with numbers most of the time), the num lock function takes some getting used to when you're typing letters at the same time. nothing really beats a full-sized keyboard.

lastly, an important update on the blackberry curve, my dream gadget. the next-gen curve, i think it's 8320, will have wifi. thank god. and maybe 3g? hopefully. like, the main use of this gadget for me is mobile surfing! hello?!? plus, the external sd card slot. man, i am so loving this. it's brought me back on steady ground after i saw ziel's o2 xda (the one with the sliding keypad). i was really seriously thinking of getting a touch-screen device instead. or a nokia e61i which loyalists say is just as good as blackberry (among the non-touch screens). so, here i am still, waiting for the perfect timing (and pricing, and budget availability) to get my blackberry.

more than meets the eye

took a break yesterday and spent the whole afternoon bumming... and burned 400 bucks in the process. but who cares, i enjoyed it. seeing the transformers on the big screen is soooo worth it.

galing talaga ni optimus prime.

---

spoiler alert:

during the end credits, the (controversial? at least to purists) songs contributed by linkin park and smashing pumpkins were played. thought they were good, but maybe not spectacular.

the part i loved (or at least remembered, the movie was over 2 hours long) was when the geekboy sam brought his new-second hand yellow 1974 camaro (ring any bells?) to the lakeside, hoping to connect with the hot chick mikaela. just as he thought his chance has slipped away, he sees mikaela starting to walk home. suddenly the car's stereo plays drive by the cars. hahahahaha. this whole sequence was just cute. i just can't remember all the songs played in this sequence, though i still remember marvin gaye's sexual healing somewhere there.

overwhelmed

60 days and counting. well, 30 days if i was batting for the first deadline. but at the rate i'm going, that's fast becoming a remote possibility. and if i keep up like this, i'll be failing the class submissions part. bummer. that gives me a chance in hell that i'll even get a passing mark in strama.

last saturday saw a repeat of the "frantic phone call." this time i called best bud mike. lucky for him i was in a public place or it would have been accompanied with sobs and a flood of tears. i really don't know what i was looking for with that call. maybe i wanted to unload all my frustrations, or to validate that i am not dumb after all. but sometimes, the words "kaya mo yan" can only get you so far.

i don't want to sound like a broken record. and i don't want to be a hypocrite and say that i don't want to involve other people in my mess -- or i shouldn't have said anything about it. but strama is plain driving me nuts. it is testing my patience, my perseverance, my ability to cope with pressure, and my faith. three years is a long time to have this at the back of my mind, and i am plain tired. but my mind and my hands refuse to cooperate.

i kept reminding myself of the things i am free to do once i've finished. catch up with my reading backlog. learn to drive. go out more often. finally be free of guilt. i get on a high, and five minutes later i stand up from my chair and try to walk off my frustration. i just can't see my way through. how my other classmates did is a big mystery. i can't let this hold me back. but at the same time, i wonder if i was even ready for it.

just some buzz

thanks to pk for the video clip of m5's makes me wonder. i couldn't play it on my office pc (it has *gasp!* windows media player 2) and i can't wait until i got home... so i bugged officemate larsen, who also loved the new album, to play it on his pc. most people think adam levine is so hot and i'm no exception. dunno why i brought it up, it's such a boring subject. but sorry, this is my blog so i'll do what i want. so sit tight while i sing along to makes me wonder, live @ aol version. (thanks to doug for this one!)

...

ok, song's done.

---

there's a rumor going around about a hardy boys movie, starring tom cruise and ben stiller. actually, it's almost a done deal. but the general consensus seems to be: take tom out of the project. can't imagine him as frank. really. and he's too short. the fanfic i read suggests keanu reeves as frank and matt damon as joe. i'm not that sold on keanu, either... too brooding (or in pinoy slang, o.a.) i like matt just fine, though owen wilson might be a more obvious choice for joe. and after racking my brains, maybe eric bana for frank. yay! that's because i saw lucky you a few weeks ago. it has to be a perfect match, because i love frank! but right now, it just doesn't look good. what can i expect, since frank didn't end up with nancy...

---

ever since i've heard of blackberry i've always wanted to own one. when before i preferred the look of palm, the new bb models are the machines to beat. i'm currently setting my sights on the newest, the blackberry curve. by the time it gets here or maybe in singapore, i'll hopefully have enough money to get it. i wish.

i know you're there but i'll pretend like i don't care

one of the symptoms you're suffering from heartache is the tendency to identify with every song ever recorded, no matter how far off the mark they were. it's either the sentiments are exactly the same, or it's something you wish you could say if the situation ever arose. this is something i wish he'd say to me. (except for the gender, it's something i wish i could tell him.)

this was also looping in my head (along with makes me wonder) last saturday night. also known as the day of the wedding. (not his, though.) guess this proves that weddings bring out the worst and best of us.

this relationship is over, though my stomach still hurts
and i've wanna live alone, why is the pain much worse
you look so much better without makeup, why would you hide your face
don't wanna spend the night and wake up, realize we made a big mistake

i cannot refuse your eyes
please don't look at me tonight
my heart beats fast, i know you're there
i'll pretend like i don't care
it hurts so bad to know the truth
but i am still in love with you

i never meant to keep you waiting, and now your food is getting cold
i keep denying i'm in love with you, my routine is getting old
now you standin' from the table, you say you'll never look back
do somethin' stupid when you ain't, you only wake up sad

i cannot refuse your eyes
please don't look at me tonight
my heart beats fast, i know you're there
i'll pretend like i don't care
it hurts so bad to know the truth
well girl, i'm still in love with you
it hurts so much to know the truth
well girl, i'm still in love with you

no more kises on the lips or tender touches please
i'd rather die on my two feet than let down on my knees
you know, the cuts you gave me opened up and start to bleed
and i just can't get over you until you're over me

i cannot refuse your eyes
please don't look at me tonight
my heart beats fast, i know you're there
i'll pretend like i don't care
i cannot refuse your eyes
please don't look at me tonight
my heart beats fast, i know you're there
i'll pretend like i don't care
it hurts so bad to know the truth
well girl, i'm still in love with you
it hurts so much to know the truth
well girl, i'm still in love with you

-- maroon 5, until you're over me

i still don't have the reason, and you don't have the time

i wake up with blood-shot eyes
struggled to memorize
the way it felt between your thighs
pleasure that made you cry
feels so good to be bad
not worth the aftermath, after that
after that
try to get you back

i still don't have the reason
and you don't have the time
and it really makes me wonder
if i ever gave a f- about you

give me something to believe in
cause i don't believe in you anymore, anymore
i wonder if it even makes a difference to try
so this is goodbye

god damn, my spinning head
decisions that made my bed
now i must lay in it
and deal with things i left unsaid
i want to dive into you
forget what you're going through
i get behind, make your move
forget about the truth

and you told me how you're feeling
but i don't believe it's true anymore, anymore
i wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
so this is goodbye

i've been here before
one day i'll wake up
and it won't hurt anymore
you caught me in a lie
i have no alibi
the words you say don't have a meaning cause..

i still don't have the reason
and you don't have the time
and it really makes me wonder
if i ever gave a f- about you and i...
and so this is goodbye

-- maroon 5, makes me wonder

i got you babes

i feel so happy. so invincible. all my worries are so far away. and i forgot about the million things i still have to do tonight. all this because i took the bus to work (one of my least favorite things) and was forced to watch you got me during the trip.

i don’t really go for sam milby. zanjoe marudo is even worse and toni gonzaga is only marginally better. the script needs more work and the story is far out at times. but somehow, the movie left a big impression on me. for today, at least, policeman kevin became the perfect man. i envied moe’s close relationship with her dad. the whole swat ops angle is a bit incredible, especially the role of kevin the i.t. guy in the team. but then, pinoy films are sometimes so unreal that i’m thinking it’s intentional.

maybe it was the closet (or not) romantic in me. maybe it’s the same as going around book sale kiosks and trying to find that romance paperback that will melt my heart – when i’ve got a thousand others collecting dust back at home. romance is associated with cheesiness, just like clichés. but much like clichés getting overused because they are truth, the universal truth is that romance is such a big part of our lives. no matter how tacky it gets.

you do it to yourself... you and no one else

the things we do for friendship.

still on wedding playlist mode... i can't seem to concentrate on my report for this saturday, for which i've done nothing. so i'm taking some wise guy's advice, and try to accomplish something else so it wouldn't be a distraction. not that it's a bother (hi ness!), it's just that i'm too excited and anxious about the result. and because i needed a bit of tweaking for one of the songs, i have asked around for audio editing software and got the audacity software for free. but that's enough audio tweaking for the day. i'm sleepy. as always.

so, three days till report day. i am so not ready to eat soap (nyehehehe) in class again, though it really is most likely. oh well.

songs for the week:

carrie underwood, i'll stand by you. all right, i was teary-eyed when this clip was played on american idol. and yes, i also did not like her at all, until this song. i have lots of respect for the pretenders, and i think this version does justice to the song.

mark ronson (feat. phantom planet), just. just found this guy on douglas' multiply page, and i picked this one to try out because i was curious -- someone actually covered radiohead, and from my favorite album too. i was sooooo not disappointed. when i get to school i'm going to download the rest, i was that impressed. (post title comes from the chorus of this song.)

nowhere to go but up

almost two months into my comeback bid, i am yet to finalize my topic for strama. these two months have proven that choosing my subject for the paper is not the easiest part. i encountered a whole gamut of problems on this portion alone -- either the business was not suitable for my purpose, important data is almost impossible to get, or i got vetoed. even as i tried to compensate with my class performance, i despaired of ever getting past this hurdle. hopes of graduating this term -- or graduating at all -- were slowly floating away.

i must have done something right, because things are finally looking up.

now that i've almost clinched my topic, the real work begins. all this time wasted on waiting is going to haunt me in the next months. but i'm starting to feel positive -- like our prof said we should be feeling right now. i just hope that i still have it when i'm overwhelmed and going crazy with worry.

leaving yesterday behind

i received a text message today from my high school friend nex. she had finished with her compre exams and will be graduating with her masters in... community development? i keep forgetting. (geez. what a great friend i am.) only two years ago, we were both suffering anxiety over our respective graduation requirements: her thesis and my strama paper. now, everyone in our group who went into graduate school has earned their degree or diploma, except me. how ironic.

what a bummer

just got word last week that blog city's free blogging service is on its last legs. so this is the start of my nine-month migration to blogger, my next-oldest blog. just as well, i think i will need those nine months knowing how quick i act on these things.

i'm naturally a sentimental person, and i refused to give up blog city because it was my first ever blog (now over 3 years old), even after i put up 3 more. but i also refuse to pay for something i can get elsewhere for free. maybe i would for something else more important, but not a blog. it's just as well i've become fascinated with multiply, so i won't be missing much what i've already done to my old blog. and i'm really enjoying the cross-posting feature... though there seemed to be some bugs i needed to fix with some entries.

so i guess starting today my blogspot will see much more action than it has in the last few years.

the art of seduction

best buddy mike is a treasure trove of information. and mp3s. here's the result of this useless-yet-insightful thing he sent to me over email today.


as it is, i can't believe i'm that naive. scratch that; i can. i am so naive it's just incredible.

feelin' groovy

i'm almost finished with ripping all the cds here at home for all the love songs they contain... i don't want to touch another jewel case until i need to, so i'm taking a break. not that i mind being landed with this big job of compiling a wedding playlist, but even audiophiles like me suffer from overload.

ai6! never thought i would be following it as closely as rockstar, but there are a few good folks in there. my personal tastes run to blake and gina (who just got axed - boohoo), but i kinda liked jordin too -- she reminded me a lot of jordis from rockstar:inxs. so anyway, thanks to dj i've got a few new mp3s to share with my officemates. hehehe. my favorites from the finals so far: dont get around much anymore (chris richardson), all mixed up (blake).

out of all the songs i ripped this week, this is the prize: simon and garfunkel, the 59th street bridge song (feelin' groovy)

i'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart

does lack of sleep really make people do crazy things?

for the first time in like... ever, i took on the challenge to be embarrassed for certain. in class, in front of 20-plus people.

last night i was supposed to submit my assignment, i was very scatterbrained through the whole thing and passed it incomplete. so what else is new? and since my group was unlike any other group i belonged to in my three years in grad school, we didn't even prepare anything for our presentation today. because i was first to arrive in class i decided to cover some bases and started putting my submission on powerpoint. like duh, i still haven't recovered from lack of sleep due to inefficient brain activity but i had to pull off magic tricks. then to my eternal good fortune, our group was called first.

to say that i bombed was not an exaggeration. but i kinda expected it, knowing the shoddy (i picked up this word from my friend today) work i had done. what possessed me to even volunteer was unclear, much like understanding why people jump off cliffs or down a can of pesticide. strangely, though, i almost enjoyed the criticism heaped on my logic and obvious lack of preparation. i knew i was in for it, but i didn't care and the little voice in my head was saying, "bring it on!" and until now, i'm more worried about disappointing my prof than being put through a wringer.

ok, here's my cue for shutting off my laptop for a whole day. strama is going to have to take the back seat for now.

last song syndrome: fall out boy, [after] life of the party

pop! goes my heart

i remember the first time i passed the billboard at slex, on my way home. immediately i whipped out my mobile and sent a message to my friend nessy, telling her about this new movie with hugh grant and drew barrymore in it... and i forgot the title. eventually, the more i thought about it, the lower my expectations got. still reeling from the disappointment of two weeks' notice, i was determined not to put too much stock on music and lyrics having a seemingly unique plot (80's has-been, anyone?) and two acknowledged romantic comedy mainstays.

fate conspired to let me watch the movie today, alone as usual. my good luck even extended to the ticket booth, where the sales lady allowed me to get the ticket though i was 5 pesos short -- on the other hand, it's their fault for not having change for 500 bucks -- which i didn't forget to give back. so, i lugged my mocha latte and planted myself on one of the back row aisle seats, and got ready to be underwhelmed (but laugh at appropriate intervals).

i'm not really good at writing reviews and i'm too impatient to get into the kind of detail a well-thought-of review requires, so here's what i think off the bat. as usual, hugh grant and drew barrymore prove their mettle as romantic leads. not as spectacular as the chemistry in notting hill and 50 first dates, but at least they made me believe they're who they were supposed to be in the movie. well, except for the pre-recording party where drew wore this amazing white patterned coat over a cute black dress... i'm not sure even now that sophie is more bohemian like most of drew's characters, but the outfit really stood out. the supporting cast was ok, not too many people to get confused about, and haley bennet is probably headed for stardom. the plot is so-so. one review quipped that the romantic development wasn't so convincing, and i agree. maybe the movie got too short to properly take us through the nuances of the love story. much like a fountains of wayne song.

speaking of, i come to my favorite part, which is the soundtrack. the review i read before seeing the movie especially took note of the soundtrack kind of holding the movie together. yes, the one mostly written by fountains of wayne's adam schlesinger (to refresh: they were the ones behind stacy's mom). what i didn't know was that adam is also the one behind that catchy song by the wonders. i truly enjoyed the songs featured in the movie, like the cheesy 80's hit (well, in their universe) that i was singing along to at the beginning of the movie. i'll even go out on a limb here and say that way back into love should seriously be given radio airplay. i just don't remember this song called meaningless kiss they keep bringing up in the reviews. and honestly, i really appreciate the actors being the singers as well. i really do. hugh grant can definitely carry a tune.

and boy, can he dance. well, at least he can do it with gusto as a joke. i seem to remember richard curtis fearing that hugh grant will never again dance in public, following that infamous scene in the hallways of 10 downing street on love, actually. expect the same convoluted running-man, multiply by 100. the hip thrusting gets tired after a while (no pun intended. i know what you're thinking! hahaha!), and it's obviously one of the long-running inside jokes. the producers of this movie obviously saw the other film for them to milk hugh's dancing prowess for all the laughs they could get.

so anyway, to end this pathetic attempt of a review i will say that music and lyrics isn't bad for a typical romantic comedy. i think if you balance your expectations well enough you might actually be pleasantly surprised.

the itchy and scratchy show

it's official. the police will open the 49th grammys on 11 february (12 feb in manila).

thanks to drei for the heads up. he also dared me to file my leave, now na. (but i haven't. hehehe.)

read the grammy press release here.

obviously i can't make a good spin on this because i'm currently suffering from an allergy outbreak. yeah. just trying to distract myself from the itchies.

i don't know when i got bitter, but love is surely better when it's gone

sometimes i really wonder why i'm still here. it's not as if i know what i'm doing.

i always felt that i wasn't ready to take on the expert role. i don't have much expertise to begin with. the time i could have learned from someone who knows what he's doing -- and knows how to wing it if he didn't -- was cut pitifully short. now i'm left all alone to be the police and the servant at the same time. and come up with magic tricks in between.

maybe i'm ill-equipped smarts-wise. it's like i don't remember anything i learned after theory of interest. i don't even understand the first few pages of the actuarial mathematics reviewer. so how can i even try to discern whether this or that technical paper is the key to solving my ratemaking problem? i don't even know half the theorems they mention.

maybe i have a weak support system. the unfortunate thing about belonging to this industry is that there are few actuarial experts, unlike in the traditional industries that actuaries are involved with. my ex-boss can't help me now, and i don't know who to turn to. and this is actually one of my biggest headaches: there's no one to run to for expert advice.

maybe i'm just lazy, which is my usual problem.

maybe it's just time for me to move on. but the map isn't in my hands just yet.

---

despite yesterday starting off the wrong foot -- and me getting up on the wrong side of the bed, almost literally -- i got a pleasant surprise that made my day. i finally met drei in the most unexpected manner -- we were working in the same building! snaps to YM and smart gprs for making it all happen.

song of the week: sade, no ordinary love. i'm digging the urbandub and deftones versions, coz i haven't heard the original yet.

the blog post title comes from tonic's you wanted more.

love can mend your life, but love can break your heart

finally, something to smile about.

every fan of the police must be jumping for joy right now. as i am.

the rumors are crazier than ever and it seems that our greatest dream is about to come true. after more than 20 years, sting is finally talking with andy summers and stewart copeland about a possible reunion to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the first police single, roxanne.

the official statement from a&m is that there may be something special in the wind, hopefully with the participation of the band. though noncommital, sting commented in an interview that the three of them are actually talking about it. but hopefully, there would be a series of performances throughout the summer as some websites speculate. not like the single post-breakup public performance when they were inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame in 2003. aside from that, the only other time they played together was at sting's wedding, and it was an impromptu thing.

i grew up on their music but only appreciated it in the last decade. and i am so glad that there's finally that chance -- no matter how slim -- that i will get to experience the magic for myself.

---

read the info for yourself, go here:

the daily mirror article

the daily mail article

this is cute, though.

msnbc news