maybe i really have massive blinkers on.
when we (meaning my mum, aunt, two uncles and myself) drove down for a long weekend at nyc, i was not prepared. i didn't have an agenda, except to make sure we not get lost and manage the meet-up with my cousin. i had vague ideas about striking out to get the nyc experience, but i guess i'm too chicken. so when my uncles decided to go out and watch larry carlton perform a set at the famed blue note, i had to go with them if i would ever have something unique to remember of that weekend.
which was not to say i enjoyed every minute of it. i realized i'm not really into instrumentalists, though i appreciate how good they are. i guess music without words don't quite strike that chord within. and to think the only part i really, really enjoyed was when i realized he was playing the lord's prayer and i was the first to recognize it. after that, i had already drunk half a bottle of corona so i was a bit fuzzy.
maybe it was that corona that did it. because after the set, when the lights went on, we discovered we were sharing a table with this spanish guy who was nursing a bottle of red by himself. being the talkaative guy he is, my older uncle chatted up the guy (his name was jorge) and discovered he was a promoter. etc, etc. and i was like, bleh. because i really didn't know how to chat up someone i didn't know, much less a guy, i instead gave off the vibe that i couldn't care one way or the other. when in fact i really, really cared.
i don't remember whether he was hot, or even cute. i don't think i even bothered to look too closely. which now, i realized, is the whole problem. i know i have a defeatist attitude. i've heard that line about people loving people who love themselves. but i honestly don't know how to go past that. because i'm too chicken.
