reaching the ripe old age of 26 can leave oneself in a constant state of reflection and introspection. case in point: pseudo-relationships.
for one who has had no experience in (real) romantic relationships, any and all incidents that remotely approach the possibility of one are subject to intense scrutiny and analysis, to the point that a minute matter (i.e., an impersonal message) brings vast differences in outlook and mood in a moment.
however, being reticent and careful by nature, nothing is revealed to any party where actions may be misconstrued to the effect that will bring about negative response, and cause loss of self-respect.
hence the battle for self-respect does not go beyond the mind. and within the mind is a mass of conflicting ideas that trigger various emotional dilemmas.
therefore, in the quest for self-respect there is also no commitment to the chosen course of emotional involvement, because no one is responsible for said implementation except for self. and because there is no outward indication of any decision made, except for any revelations to third parties.
in essence, it is difficult to let go of an attachment when one has not declared it in the first place.
1 comment:
1. a reader left...
Monday, 29 November 2004 1:29 pm
well said. and same here, 23, but no real romantic relationship yet. but then sometimes it's easier to let go and not scrutinize things, especially in that aspect. ;)
drei
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