tonight i happened on the blog of an online friend, and she had written about feeling so alone. what surprised me though was how all five comments from five different people described how they more or less had the same feeling themselves.
it's queer how lots of people, despite being surrounded by numerous friends, coworkers, family, or acquaintances, feel so detached from everyone. i guess it isn't enough that we waste our breath chatting about inane subjects, we have to be connected on a much deeper level. and most of the time, the single-and-looking are the ones who sense the loss.
yes, i am somewhat happy that i go my own way (in a manner of speaking), but i can't help but ask why i'm not good enough for someone to want to be with me...
my life is going nowhere, and i don't like it.
i still do not have the guts to take the leap outside my comfort zone, and try to make it without the assurance of a definite career path. instead, i am trying to get back in the swing of things and resuming my exam track. i don't know if i'm just fooling myself, because i'm a little afraid that i've left it too late to start again.
right now i'm looking at possibilities of resuming studies. i mean, what the heck? more studying? haven't i had enough of this? am i just taking the coward's way out? or is this a risk that i don't even believe i can pull off?
ok, when did i start having so little faith in myself?
or is this just laziness?
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