yeah i'm fadin'
and i call out
no one hears me
never been, never felt, never thought i'd say a word
weighed down
safe now
you're naked inside your fear
you can't take back all those years
the shots in the dark from empty guns
are never heard by anyone-- goo goo dolls, naked
what's the biggest news to hit the metro this week? no, it's not 1017 (that is sooo last week). it's not the crying marines, either. the biggest hype this week is the revelation made by rustom padilla on national tv. erm, what's so new about that?
much as i am reluctant to admit, i've been watching pbb celebrity for more than a week now. i guess seeing artistas behave like normal human beings holds much more entertainment value than juan (and juana) dela cruz acting like wannabes. and strangely enough, keanna at her worst palengkera mode seemed to me a breath of fresh air from the deluge of cutesy-patootsies seen in shampoo commercials.
going back to rustom. as we all know, rumors about his sexuality have been flying around probably ever since he entered showbiz and worsened after the breakup of his marriage to carmina. nevertheless, i, together with my bored house-bound lola, waited with bated breath as gossip became truth. not that it was a big surprise, especially with all those hints leading up to the actual words of confirmation. i actually think the bigger surprise would be if he did not say those words. so he's gay. so he finally came out. so what?
what struck me more about this whole episode was his struggle. if what he said was accurate, he had been struggling with the idea for almost his whole life. that's so sad -- that there was no one among his own that he felt comfortable enough with to confide in, to ask, even. sad that he felt he had to repress an innate characteristic to belong. how sad that he only learned to accept his nature in a more progressive society, where being gay did not mean being a screaming faggot or a beautician. no matter how many times we watch brokeback mountain or get tickled pink by the fab 5, there is still some social stigma attached to homosexuality, especially in a patriarchal society like ours. its very existence raises several social, psychological, and religious issues that will not be resolved in our lifetime.
i congratulate rustom for taking advantage of a perfect opportunity. not that i'm accusing him for being so calculated about it, but i don't see any other way for him to come out with this much positivity going his way. actually saying the words in public, notwithstanding the contrived setting, must have been a difficult decision to make. i won't pretend to know how much courage it must have taken for him to go through with it.
i also congratulate him for choosing keanna for his confidante. no other female housemate would have done. she who has been the subject of intriga, who told a baldfaced lie on tv and lived, who tells it like it is but has a past that allows her to empathize. her brand of maturity and crassness was the perfect foil, her "may i go out" moment prevented the episode from turning into dramatic farce. she did not give advice, she did not talk him out of it, she only listened and affirmed. best of all, we can all see that she was perfectly comfortable to be at the receiving end. a less mature woman (someone like me, for instance) might have some misgivings or feel discomfort from such a naked confession. or can you just imagine rustom on private conversations with tito boy and his (in)famous salamin. oh the horror!
i commend the producers for milking it for all it's worth... on second thought, that's debateable. but from where i'm standing, it could have been worse: they could have dragged it till friday, they could have shown rustom crying for the whole 30 minutes, or (gasp!) they could have put on the theme from lovingly yours, helen during the climax. there are so many ways it could have been worse, and so many ways it could have been better. right now i can't get past toni in all seriousness channeling mike enriquez. ugh.
i’m not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
i’m not giving up, giving up, not backing down.
more than fine, more than bent on getting by.
more than fine, more than just ok.-- switchfoot, more than fine
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