taking it all in stride

yesterday was such a topsy-turvy day for me. (warning: this is horribly ego-centric)

i woke up at 6, just as the police's de do do do, de da da da started playing over at klite. that got me out ouf dreamland. i instantly sent vito (he's back at klite) a text message, about how lucky i was to hear it first thing and i was very optimistic about my day. it was a friday.

i told my aunt i was going to the gym, but i was having second thoughts. then i decided, what the heck, i'm gonna take a shower and gym can wait. but my aunt and my mum replied too late for me, and i ended up getting one of my moods... the one i always get when i'm on the defensive. i showed up at starbucks and gave my best impression of a bear to my parents. luckily i came to my senses, i wouldn't want to leave them the impression that they raised a sad kid. another lucky, i still managed to meet up with aunt and gave her my bag of laundry to take home. hayyyyy salamat.

i had two deadlines, none of which i made. the more important one, the revision of a draft i submitted earlier to my boss, i was supposed to finish in the morning. but nooooo. (it still surprises me how i can be so optimistic -- and out of this world -- about impossible deadlines.) before i finally got down to work i already missed half the morning. ha.

all afternoon i tried to work on the analysis. i was still on the second of 5 topics when my boss decided to have her lunch, at 4 pm. we were waiting for the other girl in my department, who went out, but we decided not to anymore. so we went over to pacific star and talked over a plate of pasta, shrimp entree, and two glasses of iced tea.

we came back to office almost an hour later and soon after my ka-department came back. a few minutes before 6 we decided to have the delayed talk over a cup of coffee and headed back to p.s., starbucks this time. we stayed until past 7 and went back to work. (i know, para kaming walang ginagawa no? one of the perks of our status in the company, i guess. but we do work long hours, even weekends, to compensate.)

finally called it quits at half past eight... i still had to get to lrt buendia and take a bus ride home to elbi. and of all the days, my bus had to break down because of a cut fuel line. man, it was smelling gas inside. buti na lang we were at petron slex because of routine gas-up and inspection. i called my aunt and she told me to wait for my parents to come get me, instead of riding the bus again. we managed to reach home midnight.

so what's this post really about? actually, most of the topsy-turvy stuff is an effect of my colleague's anouncement after lunch. guess what? she's resigning. from the original team of five, i'm the only one left. my current boss, who took over when my previous boss left last year, wasn't part of the original project team. so now i feel somewhat left behind.

don't get me wrong, i'm glad she got that chance. we (my boss and i) agreed that it was the perfect time for her, and the perfect chance if she was going to push through with her plans. and since i was such a big believer in fate helping things along, i knew the signs were there that her decision was the right one. but as i told them, i did envy her. though i do realize that this isn't the right time for me. and i could go on and on counting off the reasons.

i'm sad that she's going, coz she's the closest friend i have at work right now. i'm happy too, i 'm naturally benevolent about that and for her, i know it's right. i'm scared, because the responsibilities are now in my hands. but in spite of all these, i'm more than fine.

---

when i wake in the morning
i want to blow into pieces
i want more than just okay, more than just okay

when i’m up with the sunrise
i want more than just the blue skies
i want more than just okay, more than just okay

i’m not givin’ up, givin’ up now
i’m not givin’ up, not backing down

more than fine, more than bent on getting by
more than fine, more than just okay

when i’m lit with the sunshine
i want more than just a good time
i want more than just okay, more than just okay

i’m not givin’ up, givin’ up now
i’m not givin’ up, not selling out

more than fine, more than bent on getting by
more than fine, more than just okay

more than oceans away from the dawn
more than oceans away from who we are
more than oceans, more than oceans yeah

more than fine, more than bent on getting by
more than fine, more than just okay

ten points to the person who guesses whose song this is (what a mouthful)