dear abby, part 2

dear jenny,

it's hard to be sensible about love, especially when it happens for the first time. even more difficult when there are many first times, as i'm sure you are bound to spell out. love is not just an event. it is a process. it doesn't happen all of a sudden, though many claim otherwise. and even if it did, it doesn't survive if not sustained, or nurtured, as you were asking.

it is true that it takes two people to sustain love. but a lot also depends on each person's discernment of the situation and the extent of their emotional control. i will not elaborate anymore, but both factors contribute in sustaining the relationship, and only if both parties direct them to the same outcome. it all boils down to choice. you can choose to fall in love anytime if you wanted to, but it involves knowing yourself and the other person thoroughly. and that is why it is hard to determine if a relationship is real love or not. because both people involved make choices on the extent of their involvement and how close to their true selves they allow themselves to be.

do not be afraid of love. if it's the wrong time, it will hurt but it will pass if not sustained. if it's the right time, it will still be hard but if you both want it bad enough you will get there. in the meantime, enjoy life as it comes. everything that happens to you is an emotional investment into your future.

abby